Sunscreen jokes

There was a blonde, a redhead, and a brunette. They were all trapped on an island, and the nearest shore was 50 miles away.

The redhead swam, trying to make it to the other shore. She swam 15 miles, drowned, and died.

The brunette swam 24 miles, drowned, and died.

The blonde swam 25 miles, got tired, and swam back.

A fat person with autism is a bit like decent sunscreen... A broad spectrum.

What did the cowboy say to the girl on the beach?

"Sandy cheeks."

Why doesn’t Helen Keller go to the beach?

Because she can’t hear the sea.

Why do oranges wear sunscreen? So they don't peel.

When Trump goes to the beach, he doesn't use suntan lotion. He uses Dorito dust, and it stays on for the rest of his life.

Why is the beach friendly?

Because it waves!

You're so fat you probably apply sunscreen with a paint roller.

Your hairline goes so far back you have to wear sunscreen.

What did the egg who was sun bathing say to the other egg? Don't look at my crack!

I was at the beach today, and there was a big wave.

Somebody went, "Damn, that crashed harder than the Twin Towers." Jack may have survived the towers, but not the crash.

Three men met on a nude beach. Two of the three men were happy, but the third was sad.

The three men broke into a conversation. The topic eventually reached the men's jobs, and why they were at the beach.

"I'm a construction worker," said the first man. "All year long I toil in the sun in very heavy clothes, so this seemed like the perfect vacation for me. If I can relax and do it naked, that's a win-win."

"I'm an accountant," said the second man. "I just like how everyone here is dressed exactly the same."

The first two men turned to the third, sad man. "What do you do?" they asked.

"I'm a pickpocket," said the third man. "My doctor sent me here."

Why doesn't the Sun go to college? Because it has a million degrees.

What did the woman on the beach say to Michael Jackson? Hey, get out of my sun!

Chuck Norris doesn't get sun burns. The sun knows better.

My dad brought me some sunglasses, but it still wasn't enough to keep my son out of my life.

Little Johnny is watching his mum rubbing cold cream on her face, and he asks her, "Why are you rubbing that stuff on your face, mother?"

His mother replies, "To make myself beautiful, Johnny."

A few minutes later, she starts rubbing the cream off with a tissue. Johnny says to her, "What is the matter? Are you giving up?"