Size jokes

Your forehead's so big even Barry Wood said, "Wow, that's huge!"

Your forehead is so big I could use it to get free TV.

Yo mama's so fat, she invented double doors!

Yo mama so fat, she needs two watches for each timezone.

Old woman: You are such a darling child. Please come and see me again next year.

A year later, as child walks up to the door of the old lady's house...

Old woman: Oh my! Goodness sakes, child! Have you grown, or have I shrank???

Child: Both.

Obesity kills thousands of times more Americans than shooting does, which teaches us an important lesson:

Shooters do poorly given the size of their targets.

Yo mama so fat that when God said, "Let there be light," he asked her to move out the way.

Yo mama so fat, she needs 17 iPhones to take a selfie.

The Earth was flat once. 'Til yo mama got buried.

Yo mama so big, her belt size said "equator."

Yo mama is so small that when she saw the Titanic, she called it the size of the Netherlands.

Yo mama's so fat, when she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND the house.

Yo mama so fat, she the reason why Moses split the Red Sea.

Yo mama is so fat your dad could never get away.

Yo mama so fat, when she went to bed, the house shook.

Yo mama so fat,

Donald Trump himself tried to use her as his border wall in 2016.

Yo mama so fat that when she went into a crowd wearing a blue shirt, everyone yelled, "Tsunami!"

Your mama's so fat that she can’t even talk, even if Kevin says, "Oh my gosh!" 'cause she has a big ass mouth.

I yo yo-yo yo-yo yo-yo, yo-yo yo-yo you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you ha! Frick, fuck, gosh dang, you’re so big that you can’t ride. This is Builder.

Yo mama so fat her yearbook picture was a double-page spread.