What did the grape say when the elephant sat on it?
Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
Where was Stephen Hawking during the house fire?
The top of the stairs.
My life.
I was sitting next to this really hot Thai girl on the bus, and all I could think to myself was, "Don't get an erection, don't get an erection..." But she did.
So a blind man walks into a bar.
At least he thinks so.
