Sitting

Sitting Jokes

Man walks into a bar and sees a bear serving drinks... Sits down looking astonished. The bear says “what’s the matter you never saw a bear serving drinks? “ The man says “it’s not that, I just never thought the moose would sell the place.”

Your mamma is so fat that she saved me a lot of money by sitting in my car when I wanted to buy a low rider●-●

One day I was jogging through the park and I saw this lady sitting next to a pond in a wheelchair with no legs and arms and said "Why are you crying" she said she had never been hugged I gave her a hug and jogged away.The next day i saw her again and asked her the same question she said "I've never been kissed" I gave her a kiss and went, The third day i asked her thrice and she said I've never been fucked I picked her up from her wheelchair and throwed her in the pond and said your fucked now She didn't make it:)

We’re skipping April fools day this year, the biggest joke is already sitting in office running our country

Theres a kid named little Johnny who would always cuss. Well one day, he was sitting in class and the teacher said "lets play a game". so the game was she calls out a letter and someone raises her hand and tells her a word that begins with that letter. teacher says "A" little Johnny raises his hand and the teacher thinks to herself "well he might say something like a$$" so the teacher calls on sally. sally say "apple". the teacher says "B" little Johnny raises his hand. the teacher though "no he might say something like b!tch". so the teacher goes all the way to R. the teacher says "R" little Johnny raises his hand and say "me me please I really know one". then the teacher thinks to herself "well theres no cuss word that starts with R" so she said "ok Johnny give me a word that starts with R" little Johnny says "a rat!" and the teacher very pleased say "very good Johnny what type of rat" little Johnny says "A big gosh damn mother freaker". sorry I had to edit some word but y'all know what I meant.

one day the teacher said "there are 3 birds on a wire, a shooter shoots one. how many are left?" the teacher calls on lil johnny. "none" the teacher said ''no but try again'' lil johnny says " none bc if u shoot one the rest get scared and leave" the teacher said'' not quiter but i like the way you think" lil johnny then says " alr teacher i have one for you. there are 3 women sitting on a bench, ones sucking it. the other its licking it, and the last on is bitting it. witch one is married?" the teacher then says "the one sucking it ofc" lil johnny then says "no the one with the ring but i like the way you think"

Say aiden are you and Gwen dating? oooo u and her sitting in a tree K.I.S.S.I.N.G then comes the romance then comes engagement then comes the wedding and then the baby! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Then comes cheating and arguments and then D.I.V.O.R.C.E!!!!!!!!!!!! Aiden + Gwen= Husban and wife! HAHAHAHAHAHA! Girlfriend and boyfriend!!!!!!!!

F is for friends who don't talk to you. U is for Ur alone. N is for never having any plans at all, all you do is sit at home.

Friend:Hey let me give you a little riddle theres a table four people who are supposed to sit there is you me will mary in witch or will they sit

Other friend:uhm you, me, mary and will?

Friend 1:nope guess again!

Other friend:okay what about will you mary me? oh wait...

friend 1:OF course!!!!:D

One night, I saw a woman sitting behind a dumpster. So I took her home. We talked all the way there. When we got home, I gave her a bath. Later on, things started getting passionate. We started doing intercourse, and some of the noises she made you would have thought she was still alive!