Sitting jokes

I named my dog Syndrome, so when he sits on my couch I say, “Get down, Syndrome!”

Yo mama so fat that when she sits down, the earth falls out of the Solar System.

What do you call the place where an octopus is sitting?

Octopied.

I was sitting next to this really hot Thai girl on the bus, and all I could think to myself was, "Don't get an erection, don't get an erection..." But she did.

Jesus and his disciples walk into a restaurant.

Jesus: "A table for 26, please." Headwaiter: "But there's only... 13 of you?" Jesus: "Yeah, we're all going to sit on the same side."

What is black and sits at the top of the stairs? -- Steven Hawking after a house fire.

Yo mama so fat, when she goes to the movies, she sits next to everyone.

Your momma is so dumb, she sits on the TV and watches the couch.