My dad called me as I said I shit in my sister's mouth. Impossible? Nope.
Babe, it's over.
After all I've done for you? Wow! I cheated on you with your sister anyway.
I meant the movie...
Daughter: Dad, why did Mom do best?
Dad: Nothing, except pretend to love us and leave.
Daughter: So she only loves my sister?
Dad: Yep.
I called my boss the other Monday and told him I needed the day off because I was sick. He said, "How sick?"
I said, "Well, I'm in bed with my 12-year-old sister."
Me: What's yellow and can't swim?
My sister: What??
Me: A school bus filled with kids.
What is so annoying? A younger sister.
Why did Johnny cry?
He was molested by his sister. Johnny enjoyed it, though.
My sister was at Sixth Street and someone stepped on her toes and she bled, so she called the police! XD
I was looking for my sister... I looked down at my feet and saw her.
Little Johnny is walking around and peaks in his parents' room, catching them having sex, so he asks, “What are you guys doing?” and they reply “Nothing, nothing! We’re just uh, making cake,” and they send him away.
So he continues walking around and he hears some strange noises coming from his brother’s room, so he walks in and catches his brother and his brother’s girlfriend having sex and then asks him “What are you guys doing?” and his brother yells “Get out! We're making cake!”
So Johnny leaves and goes to his room. The next day the whole family is at the dinner table and Little Johnny turns to his sister and says “So, you and your boyfriend were making cake last night huh!” and she replies “OMG! How'd you know!?!?” and Johnny replies “Because, I licked the icing off the couch” ayyyyyy.
I caught my sister licking up and down and deep throating a banana. I said, "Why are you doing that for?" She replied, "I'm doing it for practice for your friends."
I will always remember my baby sister's last words: "What is the fire for?"
What does PEMDAS stand for?
Penis enters my dad and sister.
I got mad at my sister's boyfriend, so I fucked his girl.
What do you do when your sister asks you “Why are you sad?”
Reply back with “Because you were born.”
What did the pond brother say to his lake sister?
"Oasis!" (Oh, hey sis!)
PP almighty stabeth thy! Then my sister said, "Just put it in."
Why don't Jedi like their female relatives?
Because they are Sith-ters.
If I had a sister with only 1 leg... wouldn't her name be I-Lean?
GF: What did you use as kissing when you were little?
Me: My sister.
SWEET HOME ALABAMAA
