Siris jokes
Hey Siri, where is my dad?
Your dad is in a strip club in Las Vegas.
HAH, jokes on you! My dad’s in the kitchen!
Your mom’s husband is in the kitchen, your dad is in a strip club in Las Vegas.
...WhAT-
When you’re hiding from the school shooter next to people who made fun of you for having an Android: “HEY SIRI”
Today, I asked my phone, "Siri, why am I still single?" and it activated the front camera.
I once told Siri, "Hey Siri, why am I still single?" She opened the front camera.
What do you call a rich Chinese person? Cha-ching!
Ask Siri what rich North Koreans are there.
Siri: "I could not find anything for this question."
I asked Siri why I am still single; she showed me a pic of my mom riding on my dick!
What do you call Stephen Hawking's wife? Siri.
Once I asked Siri to tell me a joke, and it asked me, "What is the difference between a large pizza and you?" One can feed a family.
I told Siri about my dog, and she told me if she could tell me a joke to cheer me up, and I said okay.
She asked me, "Knock knock." I said, "Who is there?" She said, "Not your dog."
What did Google Translate say to Siri?
"Why are you so Siri-ous?"
VOTING QUARTERFINAL 4
LIKE: When you’re playing dead and the school shooter starts unbuckling his belt and you hear him say “This boy always had a fat ass”.
DISLIKE: When you’re hiding from the school shooter next to people who made fun of you for having an Android: “HEY SIRI”
Vote for the better joke. Semifinals are later or tomorrow.
Me: Hey Siri, did you know Candice died?
Siri: Yes, I was informed she died from sugondese.
Me: What is that?
Siri: Sugondese nuts.
Hey Siri, skip to Friday!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Candace. Candace who? Candace be true, you don’t remember me?
Hey Siri, what’s in my bank account?
You stupid shit, piece of elephant crap, you’re so ugly that when you were born, your nickname was bastard! You’re so ugly, that your crush fainted in front of you and was proclaimed dead! You’re so ugly that-
(Destroys phone cutely)
Man: Hey Siri!
Siri: Yes?
Man: I'm desperate, will you marry me?
Siri: Uh...
*phone literally explodes*
What did Siri say when Stephen Hawking spoke to him... Sorry, I don't like Microsoft.
Stephen Hawking and his wife Siri’s favorite place to eat is Meals on Wheels!
Bob: Siri, call 666!
*dialing noises*
Bob: Hello?
Bob's dad: Hi!
Guy: Hey, Siri, I failed my final exams, can you cheer me up?
Siri: What’s the difference between you and your grandma? Your grandma passed!