Siris jokes
Hey Siri, where is my dad?
Your dad is in a strip club in Las Vegas.
HAH, jokes on you! My dad’s in the kitchen!
Your mom’s husband is in the kitchen, your dad is in a strip club in Las Vegas.
...WhAT-
When you’re hiding from the school shooter next to people who made fun of you for having an Android: “HEY SIRI”
Today, I asked my phone, "Siri, why am I still single?" and it activated the front camera.
I once told Siri, "Hey Siri, why am I still single?" She opened the front camera.
What do you call a rich Chinese person? Cha-ching!
Ask Siri what rich North Koreans are there.
Siri: "I could not find anything for this question."
What do you call Stephen Hawking's wife? Siri.
Once I asked Siri to tell me a joke, and it asked me, "What is the difference between a large pizza and you?" One can feed a family.
I told Siri about my dog, and she told me if she could tell me a joke to cheer me up, and I said okay.
She asked me, "Knock knock." I said, "Who is there?" She said, "Not your dog."
What did Google Translate say to Siri?
"Why are you so Siri-ous?"
VOTING QUARTERFINAL 4
LIKE: When you’re playing dead and the school shooter starts unbuckling his belt and you hear him say “This boy always had a fat ass”.
DISLIKE: When you’re hiding from the school shooter next to people who made fun of you for having an Android: “HEY SIRI”
Vote for the better joke. Semifinals are later or tomorrow.
I asked Siri why I am still single; she showed me a pic of my mom riding on my dick!
Me: Hey Siri, did you know Candice died?
Siri: Yes, I was informed she died from sugondese.
Me: What is that?
Siri: Sugondese nuts.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Candace. Candace who? Candace be true, you don’t remember me?
Hey Siri, skip to Friday!
Man: Hey Siri!
Siri: Yes?
Man: I'm desperate, will you marry me?
Siri: Uh...
*phone literally explodes*
What did Siri say when Stephen Hawking spoke to him... Sorry, I don't like Microsoft.
Stephen Hawking and his wife Siri’s favorite place to eat is Meals on Wheels!
Bob: Siri, call 666!
*dialing noises*
Bob: Hello?
Bob's dad: Hi!
Guy: Hey, Siri, I failed my final exams, can you cheer me up?
Siri: What’s the difference between you and your grandma? Your grandma passed!
I call this my great talk with Siri.
Me: Hey Siri, give me a "yo mama" joke.
Siri: My mother? Huh?
Me: Did I stutter?
Siri: Interesting question.
Me: It wasn’t a question.
Siri: I’m not sure I understand?
Me: You should understand.
Siri: Hmm... Is there something else I can help with?
Me: No, you b***.