Siris jokes
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Utah.
Utah who?
You're talking to me.
I call this my great talk with Siri.
Me: Hey Siri, give me a "yo mama" joke.
Siri: My mother? Huh?
Me: Did I stutter?
Siri: Interesting question.
Me: It wasn’t a question.
Siri: I’m not sure I understand?
Me: You should understand.
Siri: Hmm... Is there something else I can help with?
Me: No, you b***.
Me: Hey Siri, did you know Candice died?
Siri: Yes, I was informed she died from sugondese.
Me: What is that?
Siri: Sugondese nuts.
Man: Hey Siri!
Siri: Yes?
Man: I'm desperate, will you marry me?
Siri: Uh...
*phone literally explodes*
Once I asked Siri to tell me a joke, and it asked me, "What is the difference between a large pizza and you?" One can feed a family.
Who is Stephen Hawking's wife?
The American Siri.
Guy: Hey, Siri, I failed my final exams, can you cheer me up?
Siri: What’s the difference between you and your grandma? Your grandma passed!
Hey Siri, skip to Friday!
Stephen Hawking and his wife Siri’s favorite place to eat is Meals on Wheels!
I asked Siri why I am still single; she showed me a pic of my mom riding on my dick!
What did Siri say when Stephen Hawking spoke to him... Sorry, I don't like Microsoft.
What happens when you say, "Hey Siri?"
Stephen Hawking answers.
How were Stephen Hawking's best mates, Siri and Google?
Siri is so ugly that she needs to go in the dumpster. She's so ugly that she needs to go in the toilet.
What did Google Translate say to Siri?
"Why are you so Siri-ous?"
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Candace. Candace who? Candace be true, you don’t remember me?
I told Siri about my dog, and she told me if she could tell me a joke to cheer me up, and I said okay.
She asked me, "Knock knock." I said, "Who is there?" She said, "Not your dog."
VOTING QUARTERFINAL 4
LIKE: When you’re playing dead and the school shooter starts unbuckling his belt and you hear him say “This boy always had a fat ass”.
DISLIKE: When you’re hiding from the school shooter next to people who made fun of you for having an Android: “HEY SIRI”
Vote for the better joke. Semifinals are later or tomorrow.
Today, I asked my phone, "Siri, why am I still single?" and it activated the front camera.
Why does Stephen Hawking always say he's got so many bitches?
Because he is never around Siri.