Show jokes

What did the plane say to the twin towers?

"Lmao, you twins don't know how to play Jenga. Here, let me show you how!" (BOOM) ;)

A friend took me out to his shed and was showing me all his tools, when he pointed to a ladder. "That's my step ladder," he said. "I never knew my real ladder."

What's an orphan's least favorite show? Family Guy ;)

It’s not like they can watch it anyway: it’s PG.

When the ugliest cat looked at you, then you search up the ugliest thing in the world, you show up.

Did you know that..

Studies show 9 in 10 Americans do not have basic math skills.

Oh, thank god I'm in that 1%.

Have you watched the show "Naked and Afraid"? Well, I play it every Saturday with my uncle.

What show do orphans hate?

"American Dad."

Q: Why do we tell actors to break a leg?

A: Because all shows and movies have a cast.

Why do shows have a family? Because they are "Pair-rents"!

What is a show an orphan will never be able to relate to?

"Full House".

I would like to tell you the name of a song I showed to my friend who had an overdose of LSD.

I see a dreamer.

Why can’t I drive? 'Cuz my dad never showed me how, yet.

My local hacker contacted me and told me that he hacked my computer.

I responded, “Show me proof.” He provided the username and password for my email account, bank account, video game accounts, and social media accounts. To be honest, that is the fastest “Forgot Password” procedure I’ve ever done.

So I was at high school one day in the bathrooms, and I'm circumcised, and the kid next to me wasn't, so he showed me his pp, and he had a foreskin, so I was just playing with it until the teacher walked in, then I got fired...

What happens to a cannibal who shows up late for dinner? He gets the cold shoulder.

I'm Pickle Rick!

Jesus shows up and says you’ve got to go to church.

You follow him in, and under their breath, it sounds like somebody says, "You steal." You say in your mind, knowing you have before, "I’m sorry." Then somebody coughs, and under their breath, it sounds like they say again, "You steal," so you whisper quietly, "I’m sorry."

...then somebody in German says, "Schieß den Hurensohn!"

I asked this disabled kid what his favorite TV show is. He looked at me blankly and said "My favorite TV show is Vegetales."

Why did the rapper bring a parachute to the show?

Because he wanted to drop some FLY VERSES!

If you scanned my thigh, it would show up as a package of Oreos on the screen.