Show jokes
Wanna see a joke I found? *shows mirror*
Why can't orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is.
I made a website for orphans, but it doesn't have a home page.
Doctor: I’m going to have to turn you away. Orphan: But why? Doctor: Because I’m a family doctor.
Why do orphans like boomerangs? Cause they come back.
Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be wanted.
Girls are like rocks; the flat ones get skipped.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite TV show? Family Guy.
If you hit an orphan, what are they going to do? Tell their parents?
If you hit an orphan with a car, at least you don't have to tell their parents.
Why did the orphan go to church? So he had someone to call Father.
What does an orphan call a family photo? A selfie.
Why was the orphan a big success? Cause people say go big or go home, he only had one option.
Why is it ok to hit an orphan? It’s not like they can tell their parents.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.
What do orphans and blind kids have in common? They can’t see their parents.
Why can't orphans hear about ancient Egypt? Because they don’t know what a mummy is.
Why are orphans bad at poker? Because they don't know what a full house is.
What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.
A man is being sued for raping a deaf girl. The judge, showing his pinky:
"You should be ashamed, man, your conscience is even smaller than that!"
The girl, showing her arm:
"Mhhhmmhmm, mhhmhm!"
I was the manager at a McDonald’s in Turin when I saw Penaldo walk in and submit a job application. I asked him to show me his skills and experience, but he just started diving and asking for pens and tap-ins. I was confused until Penaldo told me that’s all he knows how to do.
These people who are offended by rape jokes don’t even understand humor. They think of humor as like a happy thing because humor makes us laugh and laughter makes us happy, but most of the jokes that we laugh at are filled with pain and suffering. If I take a joke like, how many police officers does it take to change a light bulb? None, they just beat the room for being black. Now that joke isn’t making light of the fact that people have marched in the civil rights movement and people have been racially discriminated against. It’s not making light of those, what it’s doing is it’s taking that pain and suffering and making you transcend it for a moment, and showing the absurdity of the human mind, and that is important. Humor at its best takes the bad things in this world that are painful and hard to deal with and makes it something funny.
And before you go in the comments and say I agree with rape, I don’t. I hope everybody who rapes someone to have their dick cut off. My little sister got fucking raped when she was six, and the guy is lucky he got caught by the police and not me, cause if I caught I would have fucking killed him, so I don’t agree with rape, but I still think rape jokes should still not be taken so seriously!
Memes
Yo mama so fat, the only letters that she knows are KFC.
What is a show an orphan will never be able to relate to?
"Full House".
What TV series do orphans hate?
"House, M.D."
What did the plane say to the twin towers?
"Lmao, you twins don't know how to play Jenga. Here, let me show you how!" (BOOM) ;)
A friend took me out to his shed and was showing me all his tools, when he pointed to a ladder. "That's my step ladder," he said. "I never knew my real ladder."
Q: Why do we tell actors to break a leg?
A: Because all shows and movies have a cast.
When the ugliest cat looked at you, then you search up the ugliest thing in the world, you show up.
Have you watched the show "Naked and Afraid"? Well, I play it every Saturday with my uncle.
Did you know that..
Studies show 9 in 10 Americans do not have basic math skills.
Oh, thank god I'm in that 1%.
Stories like Rudolph and Wonder show that different means worse.
Random person: "What's one thing your ex gave you that you can't get rid of?"
Man: *Shows a picture of his child.*
What's an orphan's least favorite show? Family Guy ;)
It’s not like they can watch it anyway: it’s PG.
Why do shows have a family? Because they are "Pair-rents"!
I would like to tell you the name of a song I showed to my friend who had an overdose of LSD.
I see a dreamer.
What show do orphans hate?
"American Dad."