Random person: "What's one thing your ex gave you that you can't get rid of?"
Man: *Shows a picture of his child.*
When the ugliest cat looked at you, then you search up the ugliest thing in the world, you show up.
Have you watched the show "Naked and Afraid"? Well, I play it every Saturday with my uncle.
Did you know that..
Studies show 9 in 10 Americans do not have basic math skills.
Oh, thank god I'm in that 1%.
What did the plane say to the twin towers?
"Lmao, you twins don't know how to play Jenga. Here, let me show you how!" (BOOM) ;)
What's an orphan's least favorite show? Family Guy ;)
It’s not like they can watch it anyway: it’s PG.
What TV series do orphans hate?
"House, M.D."
A friend took me out to his shed and was showing me all his tools, when he pointed to a ladder. "That's my step ladder," he said. "I never knew my real ladder."
What is a show an orphan will never be able to relate to?
"Full House".
Q: Why do we tell actors to break a leg?
A: Because all shows and movies have a cast.
What show do orphans hate?
"American Dad."
Jimmy Savile should have presented Pop off the Tops instead of Top of the Pops.
Why do shows have a family? Because they are "Pair-rents"!
I would like to tell you the name of a song I showed to my friend who had an overdose of LSD.
I see a dreamer.
Why did the rapper bring a ladder to the concert?
Because he wanted to reach new heights in his performance.
Yo mama so fat, the only letters that she knows are KFC.
The show COPS has been dropped from broadcast,
honoring the longstanding tradition of police turning off their cameras.
My friend was showing me his tool shed and pointed to a ladder. "That's my stepladder," he said. "I never knew my real ladder."
Your mama is so nasty.
She showed up to Red Lobster with her own crabs.
If a mentally challenged person shows up late,
Is it ok to call him tardy?
