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Day

  • One day, Little Susie got her monthly bleeding for the first time in her life.

    Not quite certain what was happening, and somewhat frightened, she decided to tell Little Johnny. Little Susie dropped her panties and showed Little Johnny what was happening.

    Little Johnny's eyes opened wide in amazement. "You know," he said, "I'm not a doctor, but it looks like someone just ripped your balls off!"

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  • Orphanage

  • I burnt down an orphanage and then showed an orphan the orphanage that I burned down, and he loved it. Not really, though.

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  • Chicken

  • Someone: "I got chickens out there vibin'."

    Me: "What? Oh, you mean those over-sized chickens that just show an example of you in real life?"

    Someone: . . .

    Satan

  • Therapist: And what is it about this generation that bothers you?

    Satan: I give them the intro tour and they just say shit like "ooo spooky lol."

    Therapist: That's not so bad.

    Satan: When I showed one girl the pit of everlasting flame, she sighed and said "big mood."

    Slit

  • The double slit experiment shows light particles are a wave that assemble in your presence. And you didn't even have to say a word!

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  • Cop

  • I wasn't planning on going on a run, but those cops showed up out of nowhere.

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  • Kamikaze

  • What did the kamikaze instructor say to the students?

    "Okay guys, watch very carefully because I can only show you this demonstration once."

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  • Tower

  • I was doing a magic show. I tried to make a bunny disappear, but it didn’t work.

    I walked outside in shame. I looked up and realised the towers had disappeared!!!!

    Sister

  • Hi guys, jokes for sister.

    So I was listening to a song about "I hate you, are annoying, sister. I'm small and I'm smart," and when I showed it to her, she killed me, and later I was dancing and crying.

    Actor

  • As an actor going to film a new TV show in another country, when TSA asks, "What’s the purpose of your visit?"... "I’m going to shoot a pilot" is never a good answer.

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