Short jokes
",':/ wait wtf that post below me was gay."
Why can't orphans eat Doritos? Because it's family size.
So, my kid took my car. He crashed it off a bridge. I miss it, but it's going to have my car.
Why do many New Yorkers like watching Spider-Man?
Because he’s always on the webcast.
What's the sun's favorite chocolate? Mars bar.
Who tells the best chicken jokes?
Comedi-hens!
If the average male walks 1.7 miles a day, then why did my dad take 13 years to get the milk?
What do you call a AK-47 that lost 1 point?
An AK-46.
What did the bird do when he ate the expired worm?
He flew up!
I saw a child crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were.
Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage.
Her: I love Kobe Bryant!
Me: Helicopter Helicopter
Her:.....
Me: At least you don't say save the trees, cus damn Kobe is good.
Hey.
Girl: Hey.
Damn, I forgot my spray bottle.
Girl: What?
It says "spray on flat surfaces."
People tell me to be nice to orphans, so I say, "What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?"
I wasn’t close to my dad when he died. It’s a good thing he stepped on a land mine.
What is the oldest animal in the world?
A zebra—it is black and white.
You know what to do with this?
Get it to the same amount of dislikes and likes!
When a stranger keeps telling kids to kill themselves AKA the Stigg.
If I looked like Stephen Hawking, I would also be an atheist.
Someone walked into a cancer ward and asked for a skin fade.
Why did the doctor check out Earth?
He had a tummy quake.