Short jokes
On one hand he was fantastic and the other a spastic. You could say he was a fantastic spastic.
What color is Stephen Hawking's house?
It's a bungalow.
Stephen Hawking's best subjects were Physics and Maths. His worst was P.E.
What does E.T. stand for? Because he has little legs.
What does S.H. stand for? He doesn't.
What does S.H. stand for? Shit happens.
Knock knock. Who's there? Stephen Hawking. Wheelie?
Who said, "That's a small step for man, a giant leap for mankind?"
Not Stephen Hawking.
Stephen Hawking had a high I.Q., but still had to learn how to be disabled.
Why can you say "Kobe" even though you missed?
Because he didn't land either.
I was going to make alligator last night, but I noticed that I only had a crock pot.😅
Why is there a hole in Uranus?
Eli is hot.
How do you say “Yes, you look good” in Spanish?
– Sí...
See deez nuts!
One day an orphan went to jail, and a big dude went behind him and said, "I want you." The orphan said, "Finally!"
Q: Why was the pilot sad?
A: 'Cause he was bad at playing Jenga. 💀
You're so ugly and fat, and you're so lazy you can't even get your ass up and walk.
What is an emo's favorite song?
"Suicidal."
Why were the baker's hands brown?
Because he was kneading a poop.
What does Justin Bieber and a rabbit have in common?
They're both adorably cute and everyone loves them except for Justin Bieber.
You have five seconds to kill me. 1... 2... 3... 4... Thank you. I can rest now. WAIT, HOW AM I TALKING?????????????????????
My joke is your life support getting unplugged because my phone is about to die.