Short jokes
You know you're fucked when the speed bump screams.
Which way is quicker to die? Noose or slitting my throat?
"Why didn't the boy pick up his ice cream?" - Margaret
"Why?" - Depressed boy
"Because he got ran over." - Margaret
"I wish that was me." - Depressed boy
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Bro, if I die, I want to die blown up by 34 pounds of C4 at a furry convention.
Why did the North Tower want chocolate ice cream?
Because he didn't want plane.
Doctor: You have cancer.
Patient: Will I survive?
Doctor: Probably not.
How many hookers fit in a Cadillac?
About 4 in the trunk if you stack 'em right.
What do orphans get at Xmas?
Lonely.
So, one day I have a wife, but if it's getting a longer day, she is moving so weird, and I see she has sex with Rick Astley. 😂 [rickrolled]
Are you serious right now, bro?
Your forehead is so big, when you go to the toilet, it bends. You stooped.
Nobody:
JFK: :) Hi guys!
JFK's killer: Ayo look at this shit, I just hit a clip.
What's a energy drink orphans never tried? "Mother".
I saw your forehead and realized your mom and dad's foreheads were as big as yours. Also, you're gay.
Your forehead is so big even ash couldn’t catch it.
You are so poor, when I pass you, you ask for spare change, and I was poor, too.
Can emo kids get a happy birthday?
The guy called up to the orphanage, then he asked, "Where are the kids' faces?"
Then another guy said, "Sorry, there's no homepage."
Hi, are you even my sister?
Yes, I am.
No, you're not, because you never even existed as my sister.