Short jokes
What a magic trick, it's so bad!
Too bad, chick.
Ex-bf's gf: You're so ugly as hell.
Me: Oh, did I mention that I was trying to be you?
I don't get progressive leftists these days. They claim to be supporting BLM, but they aren't pro-life.
Doctor: I will deliver the baby right away.
Dad: I would like the baby to have a liver.
What kind of pizza can't an orphan order?
Familiar pizza.
What does a pirate say to the president?? Spread your legs so I can get my treasure back.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Johnny.
Johnny who?
Johnny want yo' mommy.
You look at it. You tug on it like a shoe string. You play with it like elastic bubble plastic, but it still never grows.
What is an orphan's least liked meal? Family dinner.
When I said I wanted vegetable stew, I didn’t mean boil Stephen Hawking!
My job is so amazing.
Today a man asked me to check his balance, so I pushed him over. His balance isn't good.
Why do orphans hate any milk?
Their dad did not come back for 10 years. Oh, sorry, he got lost in the store! 🤧
Why does the emo's mom like taking her son to the store?
Because the cashier can scan his wrist for discounts!
What does a student always get on an alphabet test?
A!
So I told an orphan if her mom is hot, he wouldn't stop crying.
Your head is so small, even a fly could eat it.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because there's no home.
What is the difference between an apple tray and an orphan? The apples get picked.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The KGB.
The KGB wh-?
*slaps* I will ask the questions here.
Snowmen and snowwomen take a stomach piece, making snowballs.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your mom's house.
Knock knock.
You: Who's there?
Your new father!