Short jokes

I keep looking for my girlfriend's killer, but no one wants to do it.

Q: What can turn a fruit into a vegetable?

A: AIDS.

You smell like a monkey, and you might have to take a shower, pu.

So um uh I like people who like people who like people.

Why did the orphan chase the family? Because he was jealous that he did not have a family.

Pastor: I don’t normally swear, but tonight I am going to, just for the halibut!

Bored.

A girl asked, "Can I have some nuts too?"

Boy: "Sure, what ones ;)"

What do you call 2 homeless people throwing rocks at each other? "Pillow Fight!"

I was going to go hunting but then I realized, schools are closed due to covid.

What do U.S. airstrikes and dark humor have in common?

They're normally pointed towards Africa and the Middle East.

When you're banging the class slut and the school shooter says to leave his corpses alone.

What is a kidnapper's favorite shoe?

White Vans.

My family was like dinosaurs when they got COVID.

They both went extinct.

What did the orphan say to the house? Can I live here?

I have it.

What can happen if you bring a hooker into a stranger's house? He will ask you, "Really, are you nuts?"

What will happen if someone kicks you right in the balls?

You will be like, "Ow, my nuts!"

What are you willing to write in your notebook? These nuts.

How can you tell that a woman is asking for sex? Wait for her to drop a bomb on you.