Short jokes
One time my receipt broke before I even got to my truck.
When is a priest's best compromise?
A failed Baptism.
A mouse said, "Who should put the bell on the cat?" Then all mice said, "The old one."
Hjja rehamms jjjwma name.
I am reading a horror book in braille.
Something bad is going to happen. I CAN FEEL IT!
What happens when Helen Keller picks her nose?
She slurs her words...
What’s one store an orphan can’t shop at?
HomeGoods ;)
Know why they call gonorrhea gonorrhea?
'Cause once you have it, everyone is gone.
Want to know what Juice WRLD would do if he were alive today?
Frantically scratch on the inside of his coffin.
What is the difference between a cow and a chicken?
It's white and it's brown.
Why can't orphans go on vacation?
The last time they did, they fell in the toilet and had no one to help them out. Ugh!
Q: How would a chicken leave?
A: Through the exit.
A guy in a wheelchair said, "I stand for Boris." But I think he meant he sat for Boris.
Kidloland
"Slow and steady wins the race."
Parademic
"Peppa Pig"-like pandemics.
"Parademics are so bad, yo mama can't stop!"
"Roses are red, shut up and go to bed."
Me explaining to the school nurse that ice can't cure everything.
Nurse: hOW DaRe yOu OpPosE mE mORtAl!