Shes jokes

A sailor drops anchor in a port and heads into the nearest pub. Everyone in the pub is whispering and pointing at him because of his odd shaped body; he has a very muscular body, but a very tiny head on his shoulders.

As he orders his drink, he tells the bartender, "I'll explain. I get this in every port and town I visit. I caught a mermaid and she granted me three wishes if I would release her back into the sea. So I told her I wanted a yacht and, sure enough, she came through for me. Next, I asked for a million bucks and now I am set for life. Last of all, I asked her if I could have sex with her and her response was, 'I don't know how you can make love to me with your type of body.' So I asked her, 'How about a little head?'"

There are two kids sitting in a classroom: Lily and John. Lily sleeps in class every day.

The teacher asks Lily who made heaven and earth. John pokes her with a pencil. She shouts, "Jesus Christ Almighty!"

The teacher says, "That's right."

The teacher says the next day she asks the same question. John pokes her with a pencil. She shouts, "Jesus Christ Almighty!"

"That's right," the teacher says.

The next day she asks Lily what did Eve say to Adam after their 100th. John pokes her again. "If you stick that thing in me one more time, I'mma break it in half!" she shouts.

I got home one day and a Spanish guy, white guy, black guy told me that your sister knows her meats.

She won a trophy. We blindfolded her, then my sister said, "Yeah, I was blindfolded, and I gave all three of them blowjobs and I had to guess which flavor of the meat it was."

The Trophy said Best Blowjobs. As a brother, I couldn't be prouder.

Yo mama's like a fridge, she breaks down when she loses her cool.

Yo mama so ugly, she had to ask Satan to help her give birth!

Yo mama so stupid that when she went to see Fast and Furious 8, she was bringing her car to the theater.

A girl in the shop was getting bullied. She came to me saying, "I’m getting bullied." I told her, "Stand up for herself."

Your mumma so fat she takes up 4 seats of the sofa.

Yo mama so ugly, when she went to the ugly club, they said, "Sorry, professionals only!"

Yo mama so old, she pre-ordered the Bible.

Your mom is so fat when she skipped a meal, the whole stock market crashed.

Your mom is so fat she tripped, and I didn’t even laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.

Saw that shit on Roblox.

This kinda reminds me of when my mum was feeding me. She always used to say, "Open wide for the delicious plane."

Yo mama's so poor, she chases the garbage truck with a grocery list.

Yo mama so short, she went to see Santa and he told her to get back to work!

Yo mama so stupid that when the mirror cracked, she tried to order another one.

What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? "Ugh, ugh, ugh!"

Yo momma's so fat that she got married to diabetes!

Your mama's so fat, when she went to the baseball tournament, she knocked everyone out of the park.

Why did Sally fall off the swing?

Because she got shot. Dumb bitch!

I was naughty at school and my teacher said she's going to tell my dad. I was like, "Who's that?"