Shes jokes

My friend said she was tired of seeing me every day.

So I pushed her off the side of a cliff.

Why did my [redacted] a girl because she said, "Uh."

So a lady came up to me today at the bank, and she asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

This ole boy picked up this hooker and was getting some head driving down the road, and she started gagging on it a little, and he said, "Oh yeah baby, you like that big dick, don't ya?" and she said, "Oh baby, it's not that, ya asshole stinks!"

Yo mama is so dumb, she plays Pokémon and doesn’t catch any.

Yo momma's so ugly that she made One Direction turn into the Other Directions.

So, I was in school, and there was a number saying "696969," so I said to my mother, "What does it mean?" She said, "Your fucking dad and I!"

What did Helen Keller say when she jumped off a bridge? "(sign language)"

I went out with this girl the other night. She wore this real slinky number. She especially looked great going down the stairs.

Yo mama is so ugly that when she turned on the TV, it changed channels by itself.

Yo mama so stupid, she thought baseballs were at Batman!

The Britains walk in the house of the alcoholic grandad. They ask Mary, the mum, why she had blood all over her, and she said someone dropped the butter. They walked into the living room, and Thomas was dead on the floor.

I was dying when I called my sister and she said, "Hi, this is Pepperoni's pizza and abortion clinic; your loss, our sauce. How may I help you today?"

Yo mama so ugly, she looked in the mirror and it broke.

Yo mama so fat, she broke the stairs to heaven.

So, I walked up to my grandma and I said, "What color would you be on a rainbow cupcake?" She just turned 61, ok, ok. So I'm like, "I got it, I got it, ok, ok." She's like: "Ok, what color?" I say: "Grey."

I asked my mom if I was adopted. She said no, "Why the fuck would I adopt you?" and I said "I'm gonna kill myself," and she also said, "Make sure you do it right this time."

The orphan had to earn money because he/she didn't have parents to give him/her an allowance.

At 6, she wanted a happy mama.

At 8, she hated acting like a mom.

At 10, she wanted to see her own smile again.

At 11, she wanted to see her mom.

My sister said I'm stupid today, and she's the one who wrote this.