Shes jokes

As a son, I was starting to do pranks. I told my mom’s boyfriend that she cheated on him and she doesn’t want to be with him anymore, and I told him that my mom said that he had a small penis. He left my mom, and she was mad at me. I thought it was funny.

Then I told my friend’s girlfriend that he cheated on her with another girl, and the girl told me that my friend had a small penis. He found out and wanted to confront me in my house. I wasn’t home. My friend told my mom what happened. Then my mom said the same thing happened to me. I came home one day, I saw my mom giving my friend a blow job. I asked what’s going on. My friend told me, "Your mom is my new girlfriend," and my mom said, "This is the penis of my dreams."

Teacher: Okay class, look at the person to the right of you and describe them with one word.

Me: *looks to the right of me and sees the pick-me girl* "Penny."

Teacher: *shocked* How is she a penny?

Me: 'Cause she's two-faced, flat, and always in someone's pants. Not to mention worth practically nothing.

Why was it so hard for the pirate to call his mom? Because she left the phone off the hook!

Yo mama so poor that when she went to KFC, she had to lick other people's fingers.

Yo mama so ugly, she's only allowed to go out on October 31.

Yo mama is so ugly, she made dirt look like a supermodel.

What’s the best thing about an 18-year-old girl in the shower?

Slicker hair back she looks 15.

Yo mama is so dumb that she went to the eye doctor just to buy an iPhone.

I told my mom I'm happy and she said: "I didn't know you were gay."

This anorexic girl wanted to fight me. I told her that I would roast her, but she didn't have any meat.

Tony's wife got a divorce from Tony. She said she wanted to be an independent woman.

Days later, Tony's wife had an accident. Guess who's crawling back for help. 💀

Yo mama so fat, when she stepped on the scale it said, "To Be Continued."

Once when I was 6, I had a massive crush on a girl in my grade. She liked me too, and we kissed under a tree.

Next day, same spot, but now she's pregnant. That stupid dad stole my girl!

"I work with animals," a man said on his Tinder date. "That's so sweet," she replies. "I love a man who works with animals. Where do you work?" "At the butcher shop!"

Can't have a smoke with my girl after sex, she's asthmatic.

Plus, she's too young to smoke.

Yo mama so fat, that when she fell I didn’t laugh, but damn that sidewalk cracked up. 👋

The Statue of Liberty is French; she ain't even American. Deport that bitch!

Where did Sally go during the bombings? Everywhere!

Why didn’t the parents bother looking for her? Because she was in the front and back yard in small chunks! 😂

Your mom is so fat she was the reason why the Titanic crashed.

Hey Gwen, listen, I know you're on this app, fake or not. I love you either way. Please find this faker and finish her off for what she's done, real Gwen.

*You're a real best Gwen*