Shes jokes

As a son, I was starting to do pranks. I told my mom’s boyfriend that she cheated on him and she doesn’t want to be with him anymore, and I told him that my mom said that he had a small penis. He left my mom, and she was mad at me. I thought it was funny.

Then I told my friend’s girlfriend that he cheated on her with another girl, and the girl told me that my friend had a small penis. He found out and wanted to confront me in my house. I wasn’t home. My friend told my mom what happened. Then my mom said the same thing happened to me. I came home one day, I saw my mom giving my friend a blow job. I asked what’s going on. My friend told me, "Your mom is my new girlfriend," and my mom said, "This is the penis of my dreams."

Teacher: Okay class, look at the person to the right of you and describe them with one word.

Me: *looks to the right of me and sees the pick-me girl* "Penny."

Teacher: *shocked* How is she a penny?

Me: 'Cause she's two-faced, flat, and always in someone's pants. Not to mention worth practically nothing.

Yo mama so stupid, when she was in court and the judge said, "Order, order," she said, "Pizza."

Yo mama so fat,

she fell off BOTH sides of the bed!

Yo mama so ugly,

my screen cracked when she took her photo!

Yo mama so ugly,

they won’t give her a vaccine so she can keep wearing her mask.

Me: Hey Siri, did you know Candice died?

Siri: Yes, I was informed she died from sugondese.

Me: What is that?

Siri: Sugondese nuts.

A woman is lying in bed after making love to her lover. After a moment, she starts to roll over, and in the process, she realizes that the spent condom is still inside her.

Worried, she wakes up her lover. She asks, “What should we do about this?” To which he replies: “Who was it?”

Yo mama so stupid, she thought a quarterback was a refund.

Yo mama so fat, she could fly a hot air balloon by letting out her gas.

Yo mama is so dumb that she went to the eye doctor just to buy an iPhone.

Yo Mama is so stupid, she thought the football team Rams were actually the animal rams.

Kate ate food coloring last night. She said she was dying inside.

Yo mama so stupid, she shoved a battery up her butt and said, "I GOT THE POWER!"

Yo mama so hairy, she braids her elbows.

Yo mama so fat, when she walked past the TV, I missed three episodes.

Your momma is so old, when she went to the antique store, they wouldn't let her leave.

Yo mama so fat...

She's the iceberg who sunk the Titanic!

My grandma told me I was next at my brother's wedding, so I told her she was next at her husband's funeral.

Chuck Norris is the only man that ever had sex with my wife and survived. Oh, how did I survive?

Fortunately, being her husband, I was the one person she wasn't fucking.