Shes jokes

Sally had 69 boobs, which was 222 many, 69,222. So she went to the doctor on 51st street, 69,222,51, who gave her pills. She took them 8 times a day, and now she is boobless.

Your mom is so fat, when she asked, "What gift will I get?" Abuela from Encanto said, "Definitely Taco Bell!" 🌮🔔

My 3 year old sister kept saying, "I like your cut, G." Every time she does, I dodge and close my eyes, but she's the one who always ends up running.

One time there was a depressed man standing in the middle of a train track. A girl said, "Excuse me, can you move, please? I'm trying-" Then the man stopped her sentence and said, "How is your t-shirt so clean?" Then she said back, "Easy, hung it up."

Ariana Grande was in the store, and when she put her groceries on the counter, she said, "Thank you, next!"

My mom told me, "You son of a b!tch." I told her, "I may be a son of a b!ch but at least I am not the bitch." She hated me forever.

When she saw her first strands of grey hair, she thought she'd dye.

So, she went to see the "You Should Be Shot" Photography Studio.

My girlfriend accused me of cheating. I told her she was starting to sound like my other girlfriend.

She later made me a sandwich, and she cut the crust off it.

Why didn’t the emo attend her grandma’s funeral?

She thought her grandma was trying to flex.

Why was Helen Keller slurring her fingers?

She was drunk.

Hillary Clinton lost last time to the first African American president, Barack Obama. Why will she lose this one to Donald Trump?

Because orange is the new black.

Yo mama's so fat, when she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND the house.

Yo mama so short that when she tried to sniff meth, she couldn’t get high.

I was at a bar. The girl said, "Sex, sex, free sex tonight," when she really said, "663629."

My girlfriend went to Tokyo, and she died in the tsunami.

Since I was sad, my friend told me, "Don't worry, there's plenty more in the ocean."

I asked my mom if I can help her out with the cooking, she answered yes.

A few hours later, dinner was ready and dad came to join. Mother said, "Honey, can you get the mashed potatoes?" Dad said, "Why, she’s right here."

Why was Helen Keller so bad at driving?

Because she's a woman.

Been single for a couple of years and then I met this Muslim girl. She soon put the spark back into things.

Mom: (Looking through Facebook) How adorable!

Kid: (Looking over her shoulder) What a cute ass!

The kid's mom blushes until she realizes what he was pointing to. It was a picture of a baby donkey.

The real question is, what was she looking at on the same screen that made her blush at that remark?