Shes jokes
There is this little boy, and he gets in the shower with his mom and looks up and says, "Mommy, what are those?"
She replies with, "These are my headlights."
He looks down and says, "Mommy, what's that?" She says, "That's my garage."
So he gets out of the shower and gets in with his dad and looks down and says, "What is that?" The dad says, "This is my snake."
Later that night, he wakes up in the middle of the night and screams, "Mommy, Mommy, turn off your headlights and close your garage. Daddy's snake is trying to get in!"
Your mama is so ugly that when she stood on the scale, it said "to be continued."
"Hola soy Dora, do you see Donald Trump? That’s right, he’s at my house, and he’s building a wall to separate me and Caillou. And Mami won’t let him, so she was walled alive!"
Why that Nun didn't like Virgin Mary?
Because she was straight into Jesus.
Yo mama so dumb, she asked how much a free sample was.
Yo mama so fat that when she landed on the moon, instead of saying "One small step for man kind," she said, "One small step for world domination!"
Your mom is so fat that when she stood on a scale, it said, "We need an actual person, not an elephant!"
Yo mama so stupid, she ate the Apple phone you gave her.
Yo mom's so old, she went into the museum and walked out with a raise.
Yo mama's so dumb, she waited until the stop sign turned blue.
Yo mama's so fat, when she got pregnant, she fell to the earth's core.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because she wanted to have an affair with the rooster.
If a man says you’re ugly, he likes you.
If a woman says you’re ugly, she’s just jealous.
If a child says you’re ugly, well, you’re ugly.
Q: What did the porn actress say when she opened the door?
A: Make sure to come upstairs!
Madeline McCann must have been homeless or something, she was sure eager for the free candy.
Yo mama so fat, she could fly a hot air balloon by letting out her gas.
Yo mama so ugly, when she tried to enter an ugly contest, they said they didn't allow professionals.
The other day my wife told me to pass her her lipstick, but I accidently passed her a glue stick... she still isn't talking to me.
Your mom is so ugly when she tried to enter the ugly contest, they said they don't allow professionals.
Yo mama is so fat when she stepped on the scale, it said, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"
My grandma walked up on my doorstep and I grabbed my bible... I thought she was a smurf...