My grandma told me I was next at my brother's wedding, so I told her she was next at her husband's funeral.
Yo mama so fat she found the barrier to outer space
Yo mama so scary that the monsters have to look under the bed for her.
Yo mama so ugly that the monsters thought that she was their mother.
Yo mama so fat, her belly enters the room 10 minutes before she does.
Yo mama was so fat that when she stepped on the scale the scale said: "You gained another pound, nice going fatso, a few more ounces and you can qualify for your own zip code!"
Yo mama was so fat that when she stepped on the scale the scale said: OOOWWWWW!!!! Get of me you overweight bucket of lard.
Your sister is so short, she needs to roll up her panties.
Your mama so fat that when she sits around the house, she literally sits around the house.
yo mama so fat she fell over Nobody laughed but the ground cracked up
When is the only time Kamala Harris is using her head? When she is giving head.
We split because she would always say I never listen, or something like that.
Yo mama is so fat that when she is about to put her foot on the scale, the scale begs for mercy.
Friend: I broke up with Sara.
Me: I know, she came over and I screwed her hard.
Friend: How did her pussy feel?
Me: After about 2 inches, it felt brand new.
Friend: What do you— HOLD UP. WHAT TF IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN!?!
Why did your mom cross the road?
You were on the same side as her, and she wanted to get as far away from you as possible.
How did the pornstar cut herself while using a drill?
She was too used to grabbing the tip.
As a son, I am so worried about the phone call message that my mom got from a member of The CDC. It was on speaker, so me and mom both hear. The message told my mom that she needs to personally isolate because two of the new symptoms is having big titties and a great personality.
When you hear your mom’s car pull in the driveway and you remember that she told you to take the chicken out of the freezer 7 hours ago.
I took my girlfriend to the beach and a marine biologist thought she was a beluga whale I took my girlfriend to the beach and a marine biologist thought she was a beluga whale I took my girlfriend to the beach and a marine biologist thought she was a beluga whale
My mom telling me the brief history of the blanket and how she received it from her cousin. ( ╹▽╹ )
Me sitting anxiously in place pretending to be amazed by the story, and reacting with kind cheerfulness and a big smile. (◍•ᴗ•◍)
All I can actually think about: "I m@sturbated under it- aaaaaah" ಠ◡ಠ
Don't treat her like a gold pump when she's treating you like a gray pistol. Put down a launch pad and rotate.
