I asked my date to meet me at the gym today. She didn't show up. That's when I knew we weren't gonna work out.
You know, that I see my sister at home from school. She says everyone bullies me. I say, "Because you're a fat a**."
One time I looked out the window and then I saw my sister, and she wasn’t even my sister anymore...
My wife told me she was fat and depressed. She asked me to compliment her, so I said, "You have perfect eyesight!"
Your mama is so ugly, she tried summoning Candyman, but he refused to come!
Your mama is so ugly, she summoned Bloody Mary.
She handed her an application through the mirror.
Your mama is so stupid, her phone died so she buried it in the backyard!
I went up to my mom and asked how humanity started. She said it started with monkeys, so I went up to my dad and asked. My dad said it all started with Adam and Eve, so I told my dad that mom said humanity started with monkeys, and dad said mom was telling her side of the story. LOL🤣
Your mom so fat she fell
Your mama is such a hoe! It took her 4 attempts to pass her driving test. She couldn't get used to the front seat.
Your mama smells so bad that everytime she goes outside, she gets ticketed for pollution. She's so ugly that everytime she looks out a window, she gets arrested for mooning.
Your mama is so fat.
She steps on the scales. She has to return in a couple days to get the results.
Your mama is so stupid. We were playing catch, and I told her to go deep. She grabbed a shovel and dug a hole.
Your mama is so fat and stupid. She got hit by a school bus. Her reply was, "Who threw that Twinkie at me?"
Your mama is so fat. She went on a diet and solved world hunger.
Your mama is so fat. When she went skydiving it caused a global panic.
Your mama is so ugly she doesn't have to flush the toilet. She already scared the shit out of it.
Your mama is so stupid. Patrick Starr ran away cuz he thought she might be contagious.
Your mama is so fat. She gets winded just thinking about running.
Your mama is so old her first Christmas. She was a Wisemans +1
