She jokes
Your mama is so stupid, when her phone died, she bared it, lol.
Last Halloween, I went dressed as a woman. When I rang the doorbell, an elderly woman opened it, and I made a grunting noise and knocked the bowl of candy out of her hands.
She immediately called the police and told them exactly what happened. The officer pulled me aside and asked me a few questions. First, he asked if my parents were here, and I said nothing. Concerned by my answer, he then asked if I was okay, so I said nothing. He asked me what my name was, and I responded, "Hellen Keller."
Your mama is so fat, when she stepped on a scale, it said "Damn!"
Yo mama so fat, when she sat on Walmart, the prices went down.
Your mama so fat, she filled up Minecraft's block limit! lol XD
Yo mama so stupid, when her phone dies, she buries it.
Pedophile: You dropped your candy.
Girl: Thanks!
Pedophile stares as she slowly bends over to pick up her candy.
Pedophile: It looks a bit dirty, do you wanna come back to my house and get a new one?
Girl: How far is your house?
Pedophile: It's that white one right over there.
Girl: You mean that van next to a dumpster?
Pedophile: Yep, it's that one.
Girl:.... Sure! :P
Audience:.........Dumbass girl.
The lady was so fat that when she stepped on the scale, the scale responded with, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"
How did Helen Keller burn the side of her head? She answered the iron.
How'd she burn the other side? They called back.
My friend texted me and asked me, "Hey. What's your favorite emoji?"
I said, "😬😬😬😬😬😬😬"
She said, "Why?"
I said, "'Cause it's your twin."
Yo mama is so fat, when she got on the scale it said, "One at a time, please."
Yo mama so stupid, she thought Fruit Ninja was a gay weeaboo!
So, we are in class right, and the teacher has a metal leg. Every year she gets the question of, "Do metal detectors beep every time you walk by them?" She heard this question to the point where she just says yes without hesitation.
Once she had said yes, two kids in the back started laughing.
Teacher: Ok alright, take it a little bit more seriously would you?
Kid: Oh, we're not laughing at that.
Kid_2: We're laughing at cancer.
My grandma always loved to craft clothing. She dyed last week.
Did you hear about the blonde that worked at the Dollar Store?
She called for a price check.
I once had a trash can as a girlfriend.
I was ready to break up with her, but all she had to say was, "Please don't dump me!" Then I said, "Sorry, I'm ready to take out the trash."
My girlfriend said she wanted to be pampered. I told her I wasn't into diaper fetishes.
Why is it that when Donald Trump and Melania make love, she is always on top?
Donald Trump can only F@#k up.
Why did Sally drop her ice cream cone?
Because she got hit by a bus.
Your mom is so fat, every time she turns around, it's her birthday.