She jokes

A man walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist, "May I have a bottle of arsenic, please?" She is shocked. "Why would you want something like that?" The man calmly tells her, "I want to poison my unfaithful wife and her lover." The pharmacist is now horrified. She said, "I can not possibly give you that. It is completely illegal and I would lose my license and be prosecuted for conspiracy and murder!" At this point the man hands the pharmacist a photo of his unfaithful wife having sex with the pharmacist's husband. She examines it then looks up at him. "Oh. I didn't know you had a prescription."

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    • Yo mama so fat she can't walk for five seconds without sweating, causing a tsunami!

    Prince, don't listen to that Princess. She is a fake, I swear. I am the real Gwen.

    Prince, I promise you that "qwen" girl you're chatting with is a faker! I am the real lover for you, not her. She's a stranger!

    Hi guys, so today I am going to do another blog. It's just for fun, and yeah. Enjoy!

    So, this morning, when I woke up, I heard that I was getting new grips. I was so excited. (In case you guys don't know what grips are, they are sort of like gloves that go on your hands and they are for gymnastics bars.) I was excited because my old grips don't fit me anymore and my coach was like, "Oh I can get you some new ones since we have a meet in a week." And so I was like, "Oh, that's fine. My parents ordered me some. Thank you though." And she was like, "Okay, that's fine. Just make sure you have them by next week." So long story short, I have new grips now.

    Dear prince,

    Gwen is dating Aiden! I can tell by the emojis! She does not like you or the way you talk to her, not one bit!

    P.S. She is and will always be dating Aiden! Leave a comment.

    The popular girl told me, "I bet your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory!"

    Two weeks later, she shows up pregnant.

    ...

    I guess her rubber broke too.

    What is the worst thing about breaking up with a Japanese girl?

    You need to drop the bomb twice on her before she gets it.

    So a guy gets a motorcycle with authentic leather seats, and the dealer tells him, "Dude, the rain will ruin the seats. Get it under something if it starts raining, and worst-case scenario, put Vaseline all over the seats to make it waterproof." So he goes to his girlfriend's house that night for dinner, and before he goes inside, she says, "Listen, this is your first time meeting my parents. We have a rule: the first one to speak has to do the dishes." So he walks inside and sees a mountain of dishes, over three months' worth, because no one has spoken, and the stench is awful.

    During dinner, he concocted a plan to get someone to speak, so he started doing all of this crazy shit to try and get someone to speak. Not a peep. Eventually, he grabs his girlfriend, bends her over, and starts going to town. Still nothing. The parents are outraged but not speaking because they don't want to do the dishes. After about a minute of this, he walks away and does the same to her mum and starts going to town. Now the dad is pissed and just staring him down with daggers. At that moment, it starts to rain. He remembers his motorcycle is out in the rain, and he grabs the Vaseline out of his pack pocket, and the dad goes, "FINE! I'LL DO THE DISHES!"

    I got a text from Kb. She said: "Really Gwen said that! Will fine Idc! \"Hurt\""

    Thanks a lot, Gwen!

    I was at a funeral and told a joke, and my sister said, "I'm dead." So I said, "That's what she said."

    Yo mama so fat, when she stepped on the scales, it said, "One person at a time, please!"

    Why did the baker give the shopper a butt? Because she asked for buns!

    Why did the baker give the shopper a butt? Because she asked for a butt!