self-deprecation jokes

What’s strong enough for a man, but made for a woman?

The back of my hand.

What's the difference between me and a rope?

A rope will hang with you.

I'm so friking dumb, even I need Joe Mama so fricking bad.

I told someone some jokes, y'know? "Fruit Ninja," "barcode legs," "French puppet thigh wrings." And she was like saying that's not cool and stuff. So she reported me, and it was like:

The counselor: "So I've heard you've been making sh jokes?" Me: "You say it like it's a bad thing." Her: "It is." Me: "Chill bro, it ain't that deep. Don't worry I'll end it :)"

Wanna hear a joke? Me.

Haha, the joke is me.

I’ve got money and suicidal thoughts, and I’m all out of money.

I'm the joke 😈😈😈 HAHHAHAAHHAHA Delilah my kitten meow meow to the woof woof.

Sorry for all the jokes, I'll end it.

Why should you be friends with emos? Because you get to scan their bar code for 20% off, and when it expires, they get rid of themselves.

The joke is you! 😂🤣😂🤣😂

Go fuck yourself, cause I doubt anyone else will. 💅

What's the difference between my arm and my stomach? My stomach isn't ripped.

Imagine being such a low life that you need people to roast you to have stuff to do.

Me.

The joke is me.

Q: How do you see a bad joke?

A: Look in the mirror.

Sometimes I just wake up in the morning and think, "Damn, better luck next time!"

If I went to Walmart, I would be able to scan my own wrists because they're barcodes too.

You wanna hear a joke?

You.

Your joke: you.