self-deprecation

Self-Deprecation Jokes

Hand

What’s strong enough for a man, but made for a woman?

The back of my hand.

Rope

What's the difference between me and a rope?

A rope will hang with you.

Fruit Ninja

I told someone some jokes, y'know? "Fruit Ninja," "barcode legs," "French puppet thigh wrings." And she was like saying that's not cool and stuff. So she reported me, and it was like:

The counselor: "So I've heard you've been making sh jokes?" Me: "You say it like it's a bad thing." Her: "It is." Me: "Chill bro, it ain't that deep. Don't worry I'll end it :)"

Money

I’ve got money and suicidal thoughts, and I’m all out of money.

Kitten

I'm the joke 😈😈😈 HAHHAHAAHHAHA Delilah my kitten meow meow to the woof woof.

Emo

Why should you be friends with emos? Because you get to scan their bar code for 20% off, and when it expires, they get rid of themselves.

Stomach

What's the difference between my arm and my stomach? My stomach isn't ripped.

Roast

Imagine being such a low life that you need people to roast you to have stuff to do.

Luck

Sometimes I just wake up in the morning and think, "Damn, better luck next time!"

Walmart

If I went to Walmart, I would be able to scan my own wrists because they're barcodes too.

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