Secret jokes
BFF: Dude, come over to my house right now!
Me: What? No way, it's 2:58 AM.
BFF: But I just found my brother's secret stash of Oreos!
Me: I'll be over in 5 minutes.
If Hillary and Biden got locked in a room together, all they would talk about is how to ruin America and make a plan to steal children.
How did Peter Cottontail get his swing on? He made love to Alice in Wonderland.
Never hide something behind a bookshelf. It's the oldest trick in the book!
Q. How does a girl from Alabama know when her mom is on the rag?
A. She can taste it on her brother's cock.
Why is an orphan good at being naughty?
Because they don't have no one to tell them off.
What do you call a cow that is secret?
AnonyMOOus.
How do you keep a moron in suspense?
I'll tell you tomorrow!
The news of the brother getting sucked off regularly by his sister spread really fast... all over her face 🤤.
Secret code that Bin Laden sent to Obama but couldn't decipher!
It was eloHssA OllEH!!
What does a rain cloud wear under her dress?
Thunderwear.
My diet consists of Blood Pudding, I love it and have it for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, my secret ingredient though?
It consists of the blood and insides of my victims, it’s a bit chunky sometimes, some bits chewy, some bits hard, but it’s a hearty meal.
What did the mama cow say to the baby cow?
Mooooooo my secret is that it's pasture bedtime, but not pasture bedtime!
Why does the orange 🍊 beat the other fruits 🍎 in every race?
Because it never runs out of juice.
What did the traffic light 🚦 say to the car 🚗? Don’t look, I’m about to change!
An alien goes to Area 51, but I wonder why he doesn't go to your house?
Little Timmy walked in on his parents having sex. His parents look at him in fear. Little Timmy asks, "Mom, Dad, what are you doing?"
The mom replies with, "We are playing house. We'll let you play when you're older," the dad says. So the next day Timmy goes over to play with his friend Johnny, who was, ironically, Timmy's neighbor. Johnny asks, "How was your sleep last night?" "I saw my mom and dad playing house last night," Timmy says. "But they told me I could play with them when I'm older."
After a little bit of playing with Johnny, Timmy went home and saw his Dad playing house with his babysitter. "Dad, what are you doing?" Timmy asks. "I'm playing house with your babysitter," Timmy's Dad said. "But I saw you play house with Mom last night," Timmy told his father. "Well, don't tell your mother," his dad said.
Arby's fast food and abortion clinic: Your dead babies are our taters and gravy.
Three nuns are talking, and the first nun says, "You would never believe what I discovered." Intrigued, the others signal her to continue. "I found a phone in the priest's room," said the first nun. "Oh, that's nothing," said the second one. "I found condoms in one of his drawers." said the second one. "What did you do with them?" said the first nun. Pridefully, the second nun responds with, "I poked holes in all of them." and the third nun says, "Oh sh*t...."
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N. Oh my gosh, I'm peeing on my shoe, no one knows about it yet!