Science jokes
Why did Steven Hawking only tell one-liners?
Because he couldn't do standup.
Uranus? More like urine is gassy! (Uranus is urine, by the way.)
What do you get when the queen farts a noble gas?
What do you get when a dino farts? A blast from the past.
Why are ninja farts so dangerous? They are silent but deadly.
A twelve-volt battery walks into a tavern and orders a drink. The bartender serves him, and comments, "Now don't start anything."
I guess Neptune is next to Your Anus XDDDD.
What day does Venus like?
SATURNday.
Rocks rock and crack!
Doctor, Doctor, I discovered one of the base pairs in my genetic code is erroneously a stop codon?
Nonsense! That shouldn't be happening!
A "type person" is addicted to eating sugar.
When the doctor saw this, he said,
"From Type 2 Diabetes!"
Get it?
I know why Stephen Hawking loves Transformers so much now.
Autobots, "Roll Out!"
Suicide: Turning one's biology into complex organic chemistry.
What do you get when you cross an atheist an insomniac?
Someone who stays up all night wondering if there's a dog.
Why do you have to watch your back at NASA? They want to probe Uranus.
What did Pluto say to Saturn while barbecuing steaks?
"Mine is meatier than yours."
Do you love water?
Then you love 75% of me!
Do you love water?
Then you love 75% of me.
What goes up but never comes down?
Water in Australia.
Stephen Hawking was incredible at poker, he had no tell whatsoever.
Why does Wet have a big head? Because he got hit by a wetaroid!
Where does the resistor go after a long day?
It goes Ohm.