Science jokes
How does Stephen Hawking take a shit? He logs out.
You know what really grinds my gears? Robots and liars...for example that Stephen Hawking fella. He sure looks and sounds like a robot!! And a major liar too! If he wanted to show me how smart he really was he would have figured out how to get up out of that four wheeler and tell me how smart he is!!!!!
What is Hawking's number one song? The Beach Boys: "I Get Around."
Don't worry, Stephen Hawking isn't dead.
They have just got to copy and paste his memory onto a USB.
Who is Stephen Hawking?
These jokes are nearly as dead as Steven Hawkings.
Where did Stephen Hawking go when he wanted to get drunk? The Genius Bar.
Stephen Hawking never wrote a book... it was a Dragon who was naturally speaking.
What happened the night Stephen Hawking came home wasted?
Nothing... wife couldn’t tell.
Stephen Hawking tried joining some music bands, but all of them rejected him... except Daft Punk.
I met him once, but he wouldn’t give me his autograph!
What did Stephen Hawking say on the stairway to heaven?
Oh, fuck! I can’t get up them.
I heard Microsoft got charged, why?
They couldn’t reboot Stephen Hawking.
What do you call a gay scientist? Stephen Hawqueen.
Why does Stephen Hawking have the voice of an angel?
Because no one has ever heard an angel talk.
Now that Stephen Hawking is dead, the jokes will start to roll in just like he used to.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite type of basketball?
Dribble.
In about ten days, Stephen Hawking's wheelchair is going to have its first and last service.
For one of the most highly regarded minds on the planet, it is a shame he could not create a longer-lasting battery.
He's not dead, his batteries have run out.