Science jokes
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite type of basketball?
Dribble.
In about ten days, Stephen Hawking's wheelchair is going to have its first and last service.
For one of the most highly regarded minds on the planet, it is a shame he could not create a longer-lasting battery.
He's not dead, his batteries have run out.
Stephen Hawking isn't really dead, he's just rebooting.
Guess Stephen's batteries died.
He's dead now.
If Stephen Hawking was so fucking smart, why hasn't he learned to walk yet?
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He had a computer virus!
Don't trust the atoms, because they make up everything.
Q. Why is Stephen Hawking so good at air guitar?
A. Because he has excellent string theory.
Geology rocks!
Heard Stephen Hawking is in a new movie and that the theme tune is absolutely banging. Think the opening line goes something like, “They see me rolling, they hating.”
So Stephen Hawking walked into a bar - just kidding.
What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?
Stephen Hawking in a house fire.
When Stephen Hawking was asked why he was instantly attracted to his new girlfriend, he said, "It's simple, she pushes all the right buttons."
How is being gay like a geology class?
You get to lick all the rocks you want.
Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners? Because he can't do stand-up.
How do you stay warm in a cold room?
You go to the corners. It's always 90 degrees.
What's the definition of total chaos?
A bus load of retards passing a magnet factory.