Science jokes
Stephen Hawking isn't really dead, he's just rebooting.
Guess Stephen's batteries died.
He's dead now.
If Stephen Hawking was so fucking smart, why hasn't he learned to walk yet?
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He had a computer virus!
Don't trust the atoms, because they make up everything.
Q. Why is Stephen Hawking so good at air guitar?
A. Because he has excellent string theory.
Geology rocks!
Heard Stephen Hawking is in a new movie and that the theme tune is absolutely banging. Think the opening line goes something like, “They see me rolling, they hating.”
So Stephen Hawking walked into a bar - just kidding.
What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?
Stephen Hawking in a house fire.
When Stephen Hawking was asked why he was instantly attracted to his new girlfriend, he said, "It's simple, she pushes all the right buttons."
How is being gay like a geology class?
You get to lick all the rocks you want.
Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners? Because he can't do stand-up.
How do you stay warm in a cold room?
You go to the corners. It's always 90 degrees.
What's the definition of total chaos?
A bus load of retards passing a magnet factory.
How does NASA organize their parties? They planet.
I lost my job at a research facility. The people were too chill for me.
Why do pills work?
Because they are white.
According to all known laws of aviation, a bee should not be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground, but of course, bees fly anyway because bees don't care about what humans think is impossible.
Yellow, Black. Yellow, Black.