Schedule jokes
Man and woman are having a discussion. The woman looks into the man's eyes and says, "Honey, you know how I like it when you walk up and stick it in . . . "
". . . but I love it when Bob walks up and sticks it in!"
Divorce is scheduled for next month.
Why is time important? To not be late.
What time should you go to bed when it's bedtime?
What time does the man go to the bank?
8 AM.
A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.
Do your buses run on time?
No, they run on diesel.
What time are most dentist appointments? Tooth hurty.
A calendar asked the doctor how many time he's got left. The doctor replied: "'Til December."
Why did the boy shoot the clock? He wanted to kill time.
Q: Why are gay people never late for their flight?
A: They get their shit packed the night before.
Why was the man fired from a calendar factory? He took a day off.
I've just been fired from the clock-making factory after all those extra hours I put in.
I hate how funerals are always at 9 a.m. -- I'm not really a mourning person.