What did the pedophile say when he got out of prison?
I feel like a kid again.
Say what you want against pedophiles, but they slow down in school zones.
A pedophile and a little boy are walking into the woods late at night.
The little boy says, "I'm scared."
The pedophile says, "You think you're scared? I have to walk back alone!"
A prisoner was told how he'll be executed. Needless to say, he was shocked.
God said, "Let there be light." Chuck Norris said, "You have to say please first."
What did the cow say when it saw the farmer twice in one day? -- "Deja moo!"
What did the neutrino say to the planet?
"Just passing through."
Confucius say, man who runs behind car will get exhausted, but man who runs in front of car will get tired.
3 Vulcans walk into a bar.
The bartender asks the first Vulcan, "Y'all want a drink?" The first Vulcan says, "I don't know."
The bartender asks the second Vulcan, "Y'all want a drink?" The second Vulcan says, "I don't know."
The bartender asks Spock, "Y'all want a drink?" Spock says, "Yes."
The barman says, "We don't serve time travelers in here."
A time traveler walks into a bar.
What did mama cow say to baby cow? -- "It's pasture bedtime."
What did Captain Picard say when he brought his sewing machine to the repairman? -- "Make it sew."
Two fish are in a tank. One says, "You man the guns, I'll drive!"
What did the turkey say to the turkey hunter? -- "Quack, quack."
What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college? -- "Bison."
What did Earth say to the other planets?
"You guys have no life!"
Two horses are standing in a field. "I'm so hungry I could eat a horse," says the first.
"Moo!" says the second.
What did the fish say before he hit the wall? -- "Oh, dam."
What does one math book say to the other? -- "Don't bother me. I've got my own problems!"
What did the Tin Man say when he got run over by a steamroller? -- "Curses! Foil again!"
