Say jokes
I tried to take a fog machine, but I took the wrong one. Needless to say, it was a big mist-take.
What did one wall say to the other wall?
Meet you at the corner!
A pair of souls were floating up to heaven when they passed a pair of eagles.
"Ah, eagles," said the souls. The eagles were too polite to say anything.
I guess you could say Stephen Hawking is a dead meme.
Jim walks into a bar and asks for a shot of vodka. He then says to the barkeep, "Who's the toughest guy in here?"
The barkeep points to a man at the pool table. Jim then knocked him out and paid for the shot and left. He did this every Friday for 2 months. Finally, the barkeep is pissed because Jim keeps knocking out all of his customers. He then orders a gorilla and puts him in the bathroom.
Jim walks into the bar and gets another shot of vodka. He asks again, "Who's the toughest guy in here tonight?" The bartender points to the bathroom and says he's in there. Jim walks into the bathroom and everyone in the bar can hear yelling and screaming. The bartender asks, "What happened in there?" Jim smiles and says, "I don't know who that was, but when he wakes up tell him I put his fur jacket in the toilet."
What do French ducks say?
Quoi quoi.
A man goes to a restaurant and asks for some chili.
The waiter said, "Sorry sir, this is an Asian restaurant."
So he stretches his eyes and says, "Oh herro, can I get some chiri?"
Some say Stephen Hawking couldn't stand up for himself 😂
You know when you sign up for something and it says "I'm not a robot"? I guess he never had the chance to tick that.
What do you say to a pig with no nose? You have n'ought a snout!
A guy walks into the house carrying a sheep and says out loud, "This is the pig I screw when you're on the rag."
His wife replies, "That's not a pig, it's a sheep."
He says, "I was talking to the sheep."
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
"SUPPLIES!"
Funny thing is, dead women can't say no...
Q: The person who makes it doesn't say what it is.
The person who receives it doesn't know what it is.
The person who knows what it is doesn't want it.
What am I?
A: A baby.
What did Stephen Hawking's wife say to him when he came home drunk?
Nothing... she couldn't tell.
People say that life is short.
I say... life is the longest thing we ever do.
What did Stephen Hawking's computer say when he died?
"ERROR"
What did the little boy say to the fat man?
How many Japs did you get?
What did Stephen Hawking say on the stairway to heaven?
Oh, fuck! I can’t get up them.
What do you say when Trump is still president during 2020? Magic!