A lady walks into a dentist's office, sits on the counter, and spreads her legs. The dentist says, "I think you have the wrong idea." The lady replies, "Last week you gave my husband his false teeth; now you can get them out."
Say Jokes
What did the pencil say to the piece of paper? You FLAT.
What did the spoon say to the pancake batter? You THICK.
When they were going around giving out brains and you thought they were saying "train," so you said, "No thanks, I’ll take the next one!" 🤣
What did Darth Trump Vader say to evil emperor Putin?
Yessssss, MEaster!
What did Darth Trump Vader say to evil emperor Putin?
"Yesssss Massager!"
A police pulls over a Mexican man trying to get into America. The Mexican man comes up with some sob story and the police say, "All right, all right ok," says the police, "I'll let you go if you can come up with a sentence that has the words green, pink, and yellow in it." The Mexican thought about it long and hard for almost 45 minutes and then the police says, "Ok ok let's hear it" after waiting impatiently. The Mexican said, "Ok ok don't rush me. I'm ready." The Mexican replied, "Ok when my phone green green, I pink it up and say Yellow!"
What did the 19-year-old say to the 12-year-old?
Wanna play Mario Smash Bros without Mario or his bros?
What’s one thing you can say at a funeral and during sex?
She was too young.
What did the horse say when his throat was sore?
I have a hoarse throat!
Imagine this... you're a lesbian, and you're doing it with your cannibal girlfriend. You say, "Eat me, baby!"
She pulls out a knife and fork.
What did a skeleton say when he's alone?
"I'm so bonely..."
You know how in the movie, "Nightmare Before Christmas," they say they're making Christmas?
I thought Mary and Joseph did, but okay.
My teacher said, "Say welcome to our new student; he's an orphan." The teacher said, "Is anyone missing?" I said, "That kid's parents."
Bill gets home from work late again, and Susan is angry. She hollers at Bill, "I AM FURIOUS. When I go outside tomorrow, there better be something that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds!" Bill says, "Ok." The next morning there is a box outside! Susan opens it. It's a scale! Bill hasn't been seen since October 2, 2002.
What did Papyrus say when Sans served spaghetti to Frisk?
BONE-Appetit!
What did the nose say to the finger?
"Stop picking me!"
So, I tell my friend a pun about Bach. She freaks out. Then I say, "I hope that wasn't too much to Handel. Don't let it Strauss you out."
For all of my musicians out there!
What did the pig say when he was in the sun?
I'm bacon.
Jingle bells, Braedyn says, "Yummy!" to a turd.
Then, he takes it out of the toilet and wipes it all over the wall!
Jingle bells, Braedyn says, "Yummy!" to a turd.
Then, he takes it out of the toilet and wipes it all over the wall!
My girl got mad at me last night for saying to my mom that she had a dildo ready at all times and is always hard, so my mom wanted to see. So I whipped out my penis and my mom said it’s bigger than your dad’s!
