Say jokes
What did the egg say to the other egg?
"You crack me up!" 😂
What did one orphan say to the other?
Quick, Robin! To the Batmobile!
A man and a child walk into a forest.
The kid says, "Um, sir, it's getting dark, and I'm getting kinda scared."
The man says, "Yeah, well, think how I feel. I have to walk back out alone."
What did the iceberg say to the Titanic?
"Go fuck yourself... at the bottom of the sea."
What did Michael Jackson say to the little boy?
"Shhhhhhh, this might hurt a little."
You tell an orphan joke to an orphan. You start laughing, they start crying. They say they are going to tell their mom. Then you start laughing harder.
What did the mountain say to the helicopter? Kobee.
What did Michael Jackson say to the kid on his lap?
"You have a great singer inside you."
Joe Biden walks into the White House kitchen.
"Are those brownies I smell?" he asks.
"Indeed, they are," he was told.
"Gee," he says, "they smell nothing like Girl Scouts!"
A guy starts texting a cute girl and asks her to give him her phone number so he can call her. The girl says, "OK, but you have to transfer mobile balance to my number. Then I am gonna be your girlfriend and will meet you somewhere." He transfers her the balance and calls her, but it turns out the girl was actually a guy making him a fool. He blocked him.
The next day, he was very angry about himself being a fool, so he thought he'd do the same. He makes a fake girl account and starts texting with some random guy, and then he asks that guy to send him balance. Suddenly, his father came into his bedroom and asked, "Son, can you send me some balance? I am gonna send you cash after sometime." That guy looks at his father with suspicious eyes, and then he calls that random number. Suddenly his father's phone starts ringing......
What’s the bravest thing a man can do?
Say, “I’m going to get milk!” to his wife and kids.
Two hotdogs are walking across the street. One is walking slow. What does the 2nd one say?
"Ketchup!"
What did one orphan say to the other?
"GET IN THE BATMOBILE, ROBIN!"
Moo!
Cow: I was just about to say that!
When the cow goes, "moo," and sheep say, "baaa," and the bull says, "boo!"
Me: Hey, say I am ugly for a billion pounds.
Them: You're ugly.
Me: Sorry, I am not a mirror.
Sultan Khan was a courtier in Akbar's court. He wanted to make his son the royal treasurer, but his cunning plans always failed.
Sultan Khan thought that Birbal was the cause of his son's misfortune, so he looked for an opportunity to get rid of Birbal. One day, Birbal was late to the emperor's court. Seeing this, Sultan Khan said, "Your Majesty, don't you think that Birbal is taking advantage of his position because he has been late these days?"
"This must be another plan to trap Birbal," said Akbar. So he decided to wait and see what Birbal would do. Akbar sat next to Suman Khan and said, "Yes, he must be punished."
Suman Khan was amazed to see his plan work this time. "From now, you should not agree to anything he says today," Akbar replied, "Agreed."
Soon, Birbal came to court. "Please spare me for being late. My wife was unwell." Akbar immediately said, "No."
Birbal was surprised. He tried again by saying, "But that's the truth. Please believe me." Again, Akbar replied, "No."
"There must be something going on," thought Birbal to himself. Then he asked, "Can we discuss important matters today?" Akbar immediately replied, "No, we will not."
"Then may I go home?" asked Birbal. Akbar said, "No, you will stay here this evening," said Akbar, enjoying himself. Birbal understood what was happening.
"Oh, so this is my game. The emperor is saying no to all my questions." He looked around and saw Suman Khan smiling, seeing him in trouble. "This must be his idea. Let me teach him a lesson."
The clever Birbal thought to Akbar, "Very well," he said. "But I have a last request. Will you please listen to me?" Akbar saw what Birbal had done.
He was very pleased and called loudly, "No, I will not listen to you." That is all Birbal said before returning to his seat. Suman Khan was stunned and angry, and Birbal had outwitted him, so he could not make his son the treasurer.
What did the helicopter say to the mountain?
Kobe!!!
Just send me to hell already.
People always often say to someone who are thinking about suicide that's the easy way out. Don't give up! All I say is I'm not giving up, just I'm giving in, and does it really seem like it's the easiest way out? I don't think so, it's probably the hardest if you ask me, or I would have done it already, but someone's got to do it.
I've always been suicidal. Some might say, "Why haven't I actually done the act?" I'll just say, well, I hate myself too much so I thought I'd stay around for the punishment of staying alive.