Saw jokes

I saw a sign that said, "Falling Rocks." I tried it, and it doesn't.

I was taking a walk near the prison when I saw a good looking guy climbing down the fence, and when he noticed me, he gave me a sneer! It was pretty condescending.

Three Indians get captured by an enemy leader, and the leader says, "Go in the woods and find 10 fruits of the same kind."

The first one comes back with apples. The enemy leader says, "Shove them up your butt and don't make a sound, or I will kill you." He gets to two and yells. The leader kills him. He goes up to heaven.

The second guy comes back and has grapes. He gets to 9 and laughs. The leader kills him. He goes to heaven.

The first guy asks the second guy why he laughed, saying he had it in the bag. The second guy said he saw the third guy carrying pineapples.

I was walking home when I saw children crossing the street on their own. I went towards him and tapped his shoulder and said, "Hey, little kid, you are not supposed to be walking on your own." The kid turns out to be a dwarf.

Flex tape can fix a sawed-in-half boat. Then how the f*** can it not fix the Titanic when it broke in half? Tell me!

I saw a fat woman at the bus stop today, so I asked her, "When's it due?"

She replied, "I'm not fucking pregnant, you rude prick!"

I said, "I meant the bus, you fat cunt!"

I saw two guys wearing matching clothing, and I asked if they were gay. They quickly arrested me.

I went to a book store yesterday and I saw a book that said "how to solve 50% of your problems." So I bought 2.

Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

I saw your mom beat you.

Bro, this guy's hairline I saw the other day was nowhere to be seen.

Your hairline is so back when the police saw it, they had to arrest you.

What’s the difference between a pornstar covered in slime and The White Stripes?

One has "Icky Thump," and the other does "icky hump."

Today, I saw my friend go crazy eating her ham sandwich. When she went to the bathroom, I checked inside her ham sandwich, and there were fresh drugs.

Why did the orphan not call 911 when he saw a tower catch fire?

'Cause he did not want any kids to go through the same pain.

Your hairline is so long that Odell Beckham Jr. missed a catch and saw your hairline from a mile away!

I saw your mom at work the other night. She was talking about how good she was doing.

Hands down, best $20 blowjob ever.

I saw a little girl crying, and I said, "Where are your parents?" That day, I got fired from the orphanage. 🤪

I beat up a blind kid, but he says he's the strongest. He never saw that one!

This ole boy picked up a hooker one time and she gave him the clap. In a few days, he saw her again, and he went up to her and said, "Hey, you gave me the clap!" She said, "NO I DID NOT! I sold it to ya!"

I saw that my brother has brain cancer, so I asked him: "Are you big brain?"