Saw jokes

I saw a sign that said, "Falling Rocks." I tried it, and it doesn't.

I was taking a walk near the prison when I saw a good looking guy climbing down the fence, and when he noticed me, he gave me a sneer! It was pretty condescending.

I was walking home when I saw children crossing the street on their own. I went towards him and tapped his shoulder and said, "Hey, little kid, you are not supposed to be walking on your own." The kid turns out to be a dwarf.

Flex tape can fix a sawed-in-half boat. Then how the f*** can it not fix the Titanic when it broke in half? Tell me!

I saw a fat woman at the bus stop today, so I asked her, "When's it due?"

She replied, "I'm not fucking pregnant, you rude prick!"

I said, "I meant the bus, you fat cunt!"

I saw two guys wearing matching clothing, and I asked if they were gay. They quickly arrested me.

I went to a book store yesterday and I saw a book that said "how to solve 50% of your problems." So I bought 2.

Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

I saw your mom beat you.

Bro, this guy's hairline I saw the other day was nowhere to be seen.

Your hairline is so back when the police saw it, they had to arrest you.

What’s the difference between a pornstar covered in slime and The White Stripes?

One has "Icky Thump," and the other does "icky hump."

Today, I saw my friend go crazy eating her ham sandwich. When she went to the bathroom, I checked inside her ham sandwich, and there were fresh drugs.

Why did the orphan not call 911 when he saw a tower catch fire?

'Cause he did not want any kids to go through the same pain.

Your hairline is so long that Odell Beckham Jr. missed a catch and saw your hairline from a mile away!

I saw your mom at work the other night. She was talking about how good she was doing.

Hands down, best $20 blowjob ever.

I saw a little girl crying, and I said, "Where are your parents?" That day, I got fired from the orphanage. 🤪

I beat up a blind kid, but he says he's the strongest. He never saw that one!

This ole boy picked up a hooker one time and she gave him the clap. In a few days, he saw her again, and he went up to her and said, "Hey, you gave me the clap!" She said, "NO I DID NOT! I sold it to ya!"

I saw that my brother has brain cancer, so I asked him: "Are you big brain?"

I saw a little boy sitting on a curb wearing rags.

I said: "Aww, are you an orphan?"

And he responded with "Yeah. What gave me away?"

And I said: "Your parents."