Santa Claus jokes

Me: Sister, stop stealing my stuff or I will make you feel bad.

Sister: No, I won't stop.

Me: Fine, I'm telling the world what you did.

Sister: What? You will see when I post it.

Sister: WHY DID YOU TELL THEM I PEED ON SANTA CLAUS WHEN I WAS 12 YEARS OLD?

Me: BECAUSE YOU DON ́T HAVE A LIFE.

What's the difference between Santa Claus and Jews?

Santa Claus gets to leave the chimney alive.

Your mom is so fat Santa Claus came down and said, "Ho ho holy shit!"

Yo mama is so short, Minions look down at her.

Yo mama is so fat that she volunteered for the Hunger Games 'cause she thought it was an eating competition.

Yo mama is so ugly when Santa Claus saw her, he yelled "Ho Ho Holy Sh*t!"

Yo mama is so old, when she walked into an antique store, they didn't let her leave.

Yo mama is so stupid, she sold her car for gas money.

Roses are red. He shows no remorse.

Santa Claus Has joined the terrorist force.

What is worse to have - a dead baby or a dead Santa Claus?

Santa. You need extra freezers for reindeer.

What did Santa Claus get Paris Hilton for Christmas?

He raped her.

"You gotta bleed before you teeth."

- Santa Claus

My neighbor has been mad at his wife for sunbathing nude. I personally am on the fence.