I am your leader.
Which school supply is king of the classroom? A ruler
The Ruler of Varvona wanted a fruitcake, but his subjects showed up at his castle with a Christian instead.
And he said: "NO, NO, NO! YOU IMBECILES! NOT THAT KIND OF FRUITCAKE!"
Your hairline so far back I use it as a ruler to measure things
Your mama is so stupid that she put a ruler under her pillow to see how long she slept.
What's one piece of stationary gay kids always forget to bring to school? A ruler.
As ruler of a kingdom, I wanted a knight. Duke Leo Pessi IV offered himself but wanted a wife in return. I offered my beautiful daughter to him. However, he slapped her and proceeded to wreck my castle. All this whilst crying “I don’t want princess, I want farmer!”
DAMN YOU PESSI!
One day at school little Jhonny was not listening so the teacher came up to him teacher: at the end of this ruler is someone dumb ,little Jhonny: miss which end where you referring to?
Who is king of the pencils?
The ruler!
Teacher: At the end of this ruler is an idiot.
Student: Which end?
What's the easiest way to get straight A's? Use a ruler.
Few jokes (sorry if they have already been used).
1 I couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
2 Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn? Because he always has a great fall.
3 Have you heard the one about the skunk? Never mind, it really stinks.
4 It's always windy in a sports arena. All those fans.
5 What is the best day to go to the beach? Sunday, of course!
6 Comic Sans walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve your type here."
7 What's the easiest way to get straight As? Use a ruler.
8 Why were they called the Dark Ages? Because there were lots of knights.
yo mama so dumb she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept
Who was purple and wanted to rule the world?
Alexander the Grape.
Cesar: What was that good salad called? Servant: Ceaser, Cesar. Cesar: Okay, what's going to be the weather like? Servant: Hail, Cesar Cesar: yes I know Hail Cesar but I need to know what the weathers like! Servant: Well its hail, Cesar. Cesar: AHHHHH! Send him to the DUNGEONS! NOW!
What is the leader of the school supplies?
The ruler!
Why's it called a Caesar Salad?
'Cause Caesar ruled the romaines.
What's the king of all school supplies? A ruler.
What's a flower's favorite drink at the movie theater? Root Beer.
What's a cow's favorite place to go during his free time? The Moooovies.
When is a piece of wood made king?
When it's a ruler.
I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.
She looked at me surprised.
(P.S. I am not at that age plus I am as straight as a helix ruler.)
