The definition of a stalker is two people going on a romantic walk but only one person knows about it.
My girlfriend asked me to write her a poem for Valentines Day: Roses are red, Watches are gold. Get on your knees, And do as you're told.
I like my dates like I like my wine...
Locked in a cellar and aged for 12 years.
Gwen if ur reading this the link I sent is for u and ur bf to chat and stuff no one shall bother u! Pinky pinky! Btw do U know how I am cause if do then I am related to kenya and my name starts with T? Don't worry just chat with ur boy friend
What does a Chinese guy say to his lover? “You’re the ying to my yang”!
Rose are red balls are round skirts are up painties are down belly to belly skin to skin when its stiff stick it in.
Dating 101
Heres what you do:
1. Dinner 2. Kiss 3. Movie 4. Sex 5. Bring her back home 6. Get paid 15 bucks for babysitting
Bro i saw two dudes kissing LOL but not regular kissing
What’s the difference between a loser and a paper? A girl actually dates the paper.
roses are red, violets are blue, I'll be the dolphin, you can be the jellyfish
The woman became extremely uncomfortable with the man she had just met. While he lay beside her, romantically kissing and stroking her neck he whispered “I called the number you gave me at the bar tonight. Someone named Alvin answered who has never heard of you.”
There was this kid who was going to take a girl to the dance. He had fancy clothes, fancy shoes, etc. Finally, the day of the dance came. He happily drove over to the girl's house. When he got there, he said to her father “thank you for this moment, have a great night”. At the dance, the girl asks the boy, “can I have some food?” He gladly replies “yes” and walks over to the food trucks, only to see a huge line. So he waits in line for like 30 minutes. He comes back to the girl, and she says, “thank you so much, I really needed something to eat”. Then she asks for some sweets and a soda. Again the boy waits in line for about 30-45 minutes. Then he comes back, and she says, “thank you SOOOO much” Then she says she has one more request. The boy, (now clearly agitated) says, “what is it?” She says, can I have some punch? SO the boy walks over to the punch table, but to his surprise, there was no punch line.
me: i'm going to steal your heart
her: omg thats so romantic!!
me, an organ trafficker: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don't find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on dates.
In response to a buddy saying they joined a golf club:
“Jfc ****, you’ve gone softer than your old man’s dick after your mom suggests a romantic night in! I swear to god you’re so fucking bougie.” (Pause) “Oh I forgot to tell you, while you were gone I got a weird call for you... Some Jeff guy? Said something about a loan...” “Jeff who?” “Bezos.”
If i send a clown to deliver flowers to my wife...
...is that a romantic jester
Yo mama so fat, she likes long romantic walks to the refrigerator.
jill went up to a bar to play a game of pool then jack came in and asked jill if she wanted to ride in his new car she said i have to think then jack said at least let me by you a drink after 5 drinks he asked again this time she said yes so they got in the car and jack and jill roed up a hill to to jacks home then jack said (close your eiys i got a supries )so jack lead jill to his room then said open your ies so jill opend her iese then jack got them some red wine jack got drunk and unzipped his fly and jack said i know you wana she said no way so jack gave her one more drink then she passed out then jack ripped all his close off then he did the same to jill then he did it till 3am
Two emos are dating and the most romantic thing they have ever done is slit each others wrists
I asked a <a href="https://chritmis.com/romantic-good-morning-messages/">Chinese girl </a> for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."
