Roll jokes
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He rolled away and his charger unplugged.
Why did the grandmother put wheels on her rocking chair?
... she likes to rock and roll lol.
Three men were in a desert. One man was holding a jug, the 2nd was holding a paper bag, and the last was holding a car door. A man came around and asked the 1st why he had a jug. He said it was his water and if he got thirsty, he would take a drink.
Then he asked the second why do you have a paper bag? The guy said this is my packed lunch, so if I get hungry, I will eat my lunch.
Then he asked the last man why he has a car door and he said if he got hot he would roll down the window.
Why can’t you tell a funny joke to a wheelchair kid? Because he just rolls with the joke.
I saw some toilet paper rolls rolling in the wind.
So I called, "Toilet Papers Rolling In!"
Me and my mom order Chinese food.
My mom grabs the egg roll and starts licking it up and down and sucking on it in front of the Chinese delivery guy. I said, "Why are you doing that?" Then my mom says, "I love him a long time so we don't have to pay for the food."
People with wheelchairs listen to "Rolling in the Deep" by Adele.
Ever wonder why pandas are endangered? Well, China's overcrowded, and therefore they're starving. They have to eat...
Panda: "My god. They're coming! Run! They're hungry! Run! Roll down the hill!"
Chinese People At Bottom Of Mountain With Spears: "Ching chong wing bong KABOB!!!"
Stephen Hawking died because he rolled too far from the outlet.
Why does the disabled person scrunch his toilet paper up? Because that’s the way he rolls.
So, I got a paper towel roll, ripped it, but started to fart when I ripped it off, and stopped farting when I got it off the roll, and then I said, "I guess that's why it's called ripping one!"
Women are like rolls of toilet paper. They are either really cheap or expensive, you use them a lot, and they deal with a lot of sh*t.
Stephen Hawking couldn't make it to Heaven because there were stairs, so he rolled down to Hell.
This Chinese girl didn't know what a sausage roll was, so I replied, "It's like a spring roll with sausage in it, but not any dog or cat how you have it."
What do you call a skinny black dick? A Tootsie Roll.
Q: Where do smart hot dogs end up?
A: The honor roll.
What did one piece of toilet paper say to the other? "I feel really wiped."
I was in my car listening to my radio. Steve Winwood's song came on, "Just Roll With It, Baby." I said that must be one of Stephen Hawking's favorite songs; he sings it to his girlfriend.
When an asteroid is coming to kill us all:
98.9% of the population: OMG, we're all gonna die!
1% of the population: Eh... I never had any friends anyway.
Alia: ROLL THE INTRO!
Q: What is red, white, and blue and fun to watch?
A: A cop car rolling over after trying to catch someone for speeding.