Rip jokes

What does RIP stand for on Maddie's head stone?

Raped in Portugal!

What's the difference between my ripped jeans and my arms?.

None.

"I've only been ripped off twice in my life. The first time was when I ordered three kebabs and they only delivered two. The second time was when we signed Cristiano Ronaldo."

-Al Nassr owner

Roses are red, violets are blue, if you play Fortnite, then R.I.P. you.

I like you, you like me.

Let’s go out and kill Barney with a big shot gun. Barney’s on the floor, no more purple dinosaur. 🌸🌸🌸🌺🌺🌺🥀🥀🥀RIP BARNEY

This joke is unavailable due to the National Period of Mourning. Please return to this page on the 19th of September.

R.I.P. Queen Elizabeth II. 1926-2022.

Jack and Jill went up a hill to smoke weed.

Jack and Jill got high, and Jack ripped Jill's clothes right off her. Then Jill ripped Jack's clothes off. Jack, when they were fully naked, they started to kiss, but Jack stopped. Jill said, "I know you wanna." Jack said, "No," but Jill jumped on that candy stick anyway. Jack gave in to Jill.

Jill got off, then let Jack suck her candy stick. Jill sucked on Jack's candy stick.

How do you know Adam and Eve were white?

Have you ever tried taking a rib from black women?

When your boy tries to have a bad day while you're on your period:

Oh, you have a cold? How rude of me. I just laid an egg, and now my body is ripping down the walls of my uterus. But can I get you a tissue?

Why did God steal a rib from Adam and make a woman out of it?

God wanted to show that nothing sensible can come of stealing!

What are emos' favorite TV show theme song?

Beyblade, Beyblade, let it rip!

What does a ripped jacket and a golfer have in common?

They both have a hole in one.

#RIPBOZO

Well, we started off by ripping up ALL of the decking.

Abandon ship!

Which legendary Dutch wanderer slept for twenty years, except when he got up to pee?

Rip Van Tinkle.

Ryan: Mother, if you had 10 cookies, and I took 4 away from you, how much do you have?

Mother: I will still have ten cookies, because I will not give any to you.

Ryan: What if I forcefully take 4 cookies away from you?

Mother: I will have 10 cookies and a dead body.

Ryan and his mother had cookies that day. Ryan took all 10 cookies. He was never seen again. R.I.P Ryan.

Ol' Mate Shane Warne has sadly passed away. He was probably Australia's Greatest Ever Cricketer. RIP Ol' Mate Warney, died doing what you loved, having gay sex with men and doing cocaine! 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

Like if you RIP Shane Warne 🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺

Rip Juice WRLD.

Today, me and my best friend went to the Grand Canyon. He was taking up all the space by the edge, and I told him to back up. R.I.P. to him.

I'm bone dry in material, but I have a skeleTON of skeleton jokes. After I tell you all these rib ticklers, you will have a bone to pick with if you didn't find that funny, you outta rip my spine out.