Why can't Jesus judge gay people?
He got nailed right before he died.
At the bar last night, a woman got her nipple pierced right in front of me.
On a related note, I suck at darts.
A woman walks into a library and asks if they have any books about paranoia. The librarian says, "They're right behind you!"
Mother: How is my little cookie doing?
Doctor: Your cookie is feeling crummy right now.
Mother: Really?
Doctor: But donβt worry. Things are about to get batter.
Mother: πβ₯οΈπͺ
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they have no one to call daddy.
Women are like dogs...
"Where are you going? Where are you going? Where are you going?"
"Can I come? Can I come? Can I come?"
"I'll wait right here... I'll wait right here... I'll wait right here..."
SHOES
I was on a bus when this girl offered to blow me for $5.
...and never being a person to pass up a good deal, I gave her $5 and watched her do her thing. After she was finished she lit up a cigarette and started smoking right there on the bus.
I was disgusted. I thought to myself, "What is this world coming to? Who sells cigarettes to a 12 year old?"
Sorry, I don't have a joke here... Just wondering how idiots end up here complaining about offensive jokes when you ended up here. You had to click that section on purpose, right? If you can't take it, piss the fuck off... If I'd be gay and I'd look up gay jokes and get offended... how stupid is that?
Sy'kyira (π): I can't wait for the therapist to come.
Daina (π): Same, 30 minutes have passed... I also wonder what that loud sound is.
Sy'kyira (π ): SAME!!!! What, does it sound like a woman suffering???
Daina (π): I know, right?
So, I was fucking this bitch, right, and I thought I had AIDS.
So I go and get tested. Turns out I did get AIDS. Now what I'm wondering is where the hell does an eight-year-old get AIDS?! I guess my sister needs new friends...
A homeless kid walked up to another kid and said, "I have what you don't." He said, "(Parents)."
And the kid said, "Your right, I do have parents," and walked away.
Why do horny, deaf girls wear tight pants?
So you can read her lips.
Bro, Kobe Bryant is singing with the basketball team in his helicopter, celebrating right now, I bet.
Oh wait, I forgot.
I am crying tears of joy rn.π I was wrongfully denied my visa. β οΈ They took me to the Q&A section, that I needed to answer one simple question for my visa to be granted.
The question was the original synonym of Bench. I shakily answered "Pristiano Penaldo" π. I was right guys β π«
I asked my orphan friend what his movie is, he said "Spiderman: No Way Home." I said, "Probably because it's so relatable, right?" He started crying. I don't know why.
If Hitler was in a car doing his salute, he would be saying, "Take the third right."
We are close to beating the world record of comments on this website (171). Right now, there are 155, so put more comments!
Women deserve rights and lefts.
I had a JFK joke, but it went right through my head.
I asked the librarian if the library had any books on paranoia.
She whispered, "They're right behind you!"
