Right jokes

A girl said to me yesterday, "I don't know why men act like they are better than women, we all know women are supreme." I was confused, so I asked her how, and she told me, "Well, us women have a pussy, ass, and tits, while guys only have a penis. Women have 3 things while guys only have 1. Women are obviously supreme over men." I told her, "Actually, guys have more than women." "How so?" "Men have rights."

Me (an adult) with my girl going to a nice restaurant, I asked the waiter, "People under 12 eat free, right?" The waiter confirmed that yes, people under 12 eat free, then my girlfriend said, "But I'm 13."

Q: Where do you find a quadriplegic?

A: Right where you left 'em.

The twin towers are like water bottles.

It's all right if you knock them down as long as you pick up the mess.

Don’t worry if you have a stroke.

You’ll be all right.

Do you know why I finger women with my left hand?

They don’t deserve rights!

I don't like consistency. Last night, I spent three hours looking at a room and thinking, "I need a flower pot here, and the couch should be on the right." Eventually, the police arrived and led me away from my neighbor's window.

My husband is mad that I have no sense of direction, so I packed up my stuff and left. Right?

Did you know that a majority of the U.S. is afraid of the dark?

Especially if they are right behind you at the ATM.

Guys, help! I need advice to confess to my crush. I'm being for real right now, guys, help!

When is a right time to dance on a body? If it is under the floorboards.

My wife said I had no sense of direction... so I packed my sh*t and left.

At the bar last night, a woman got her nipple pierced right in front of me.

On a related note, I suck at darts.

Man, I love this joke: Women's rights.

My cousin asked me, "What do you think was going through Hitler's mind right before he died?"

I told him, "Probably a bullet."

- Got myself a bathroom scale so now I know exactly how much I poop.

- Right. So you weigh yourself before and after you poop and calculate the difference? That’s cool.

- Oh...that might actually be even easier.

"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Yo mum." "Yo mum who?" "Yo mum is watching you wank right now."

Good night, sleep tight, wake up bright in the morning light, to do what's right, with all your might.

The whole solar system is one big family, right? But everyone circles the sun.

I believe in a woman's right to choose...

...whether she wants to cook first and then clean or clean first and then cook.