Right jokes
The fat kid asked the teacher, "Is Godzilla real?" The teacher said, "They're standing right in front of me."
Where do you find a turtle with no legs?
Right where you left it.
A girl said to me yesterday, "I don't know why men act like they are better than women, we all know women are supreme." I was confused, so I asked her how, and she told me, "Well, us women have a pussy, ass, and tits, while guys only have a penis. Women have 3 things while guys only have 1. Women are obviously supreme over men." I told her, "Actually, guys have more than women." "How so?" "Men have rights."
Me (an adult) with my girl going to a nice restaurant, I asked the waiter, "People under 12 eat free, right?" The waiter confirmed that yes, people under 12 eat free, then my girlfriend said, "But I'm 13."
One day, a cop pulls a van over, and when he walks up to the window, he sees ten penguins in the back.
The cop asks the man, “Are those your penguins?”
The man says, “Yes, they are my pets.”
The cop replies to the man, “You need to take them to the zoo right now.”
So the man agrees and drives off. The next day, the cop pulls over the same van, and he walks up to the window and sees the ten penguins all wearing sunglasses.
The cop says to the man, “I thought I told you to take those penguins to the zoo.”
The man says, “I did! Today, we are going to the beach!”
The twin towers are like water bottles.
It's all right if you knock them down as long as you pick up the mess.
Don’t worry if you have a stroke.
You’ll be all right.
Do you know why I finger women with my left hand?
They don’t deserve rights!
Feminists think men hate them. MEN HATE FEMINIST KARENS. We already have equal rights. It wasn't always like that, but that was in the past. So, fuck feminists.
(Like if you hate feminists.)
When her head game is so strong, she sucks the chromosome right out of you.
Guys, help! I need advice to confess to my crush. I'm being for real right now, guys, help!
My wife said I had no sense of direction... so I packed my sh*t and left.
When is a right time to dance on a body? If it is under the floorboards.
I don't like consistency. Last night, I spent three hours looking at a room and thinking, "I need a flower pot here, and the couch should be on the right." Eventually, the police arrived and led me away from my neighbor's window.
- Got myself a bathroom scale so now I know exactly how much I poop.
- Right. So you weigh yourself before and after you poop and calculate the difference? That’s cool.
- Oh...that might actually be even easier.
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Yo mum." "Yo mum who?" "Yo mum is watching you wank right now."
My cousin asked me, "What do you think was going through Hitler's mind right before he died?"
I told him, "Probably a bullet."
Good night, sleep tight, wake up bright in the morning light, to do what's right, with all your might.
Man, I love this joke: Women's rights.
At the bar last night, a woman got her nipple pierced right in front of me.
On a related note, I suck at darts.