Rifle Jokes

Billy: Dad, I was shot by a sniper! Dad: Uh- *hides his rifle*

What do you call a AK-47 that lost 1 point? An AK-46

Why was going through JFK'S head when he was getting assassinated, a bullet

When you’re hunting at a forest resort and you shoot a deer but then you remember that there are no deer at the forest resort.

Me and my friend were hunting ducks. He had a 12 gague shotgun, and he looked over and I had a .50 caliber machine gun, he said "your crazy!", I responded "quackers"

Q: what does a microwave and an M1 Garand have in common? A:They both go “ping” when they’re done

this is rifle. ▄【デc̷a̷t̷══━一 he needs help being spread across this website. copy this message and paste it on any joke upon this website. spread and save rifle.

I made a AR that shoots boo boo bullets. It does poison time 10x damage. You have a very go chance of getting STD. Very good AR. Going for 100,000. Email: EatandDrinkbouls@gmail.com

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He’s not breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911.

“I think my friend is dead!” he yells. “What can I do?”

The operator says, “Calm down. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.”

There’s a silence, then a shot. Back on the phone, the guy says, “OK, now what?”

Africa has every gun except for what

A water gun

2 hunter are walking in the forest together. Hunter #2 flops down, unconscious, and and hunter #1 dials 911. Operator: "911 what's your emergency?" Hunter no. 1: "The other hunter, hunting with me in the woods fell asleep." Operator: "Check if he's / she's (not assuming genders) dead." *Operator hears a distant gunshot* Hunter no. 1: "What do I do next?"

Someone at school judged my grammar. I judged theirs by the terms "school" and "rifle range" being mixed up the next day.

What do you call an autistic black man with a Rifle? Black ops

guy talking to an Indian therapist

he had a red dot and the American thought it was from a sniper rifle and tackled him and said

"I thought the red dot on your head was from a sniper rifle"

How do you kill time

Easy taking alarm clock and an assault rifle

I taped a picture of Bill Cosby to my gun now to the assault rifle.

The Coach of the Detroit Lions had put together the perfect football team. But then his quarterback got blindsided and was out for the season with a knee injury.

Then his backup went down with a concussion. He tried the trading route, free agents, but nobody any good was available.

One evening while watching the news from Iraq, he saw a young Iraqi soldier with an amazing arm. The soldier rifled a grenade on a perfect arc into a 4th story window from 100 yards, bam!

He tossed another directly into a tight group of 12 enemy fighters 80 yards away, ka-bam! Then a humvee passed, going 60 kph, boom! Another perfect shot!

Coach said to himself, "I got to have this guy. He's got the best arm I've ever seen!"

He tracks him down and convinces him to come to Detroit. The kid takes coaching perfectly, makes all the plays, and long story short, the Lions win the Super Bowl.

The Iraqi is now the Conquering Hero in pro football, and a huge story. But when the broadcast team tries to interview him, all he wants is to phone his mom.

"Mother," he yells over the phone, "We just won the Super Bowl!"

"Don't talk to me," the woman says. "You abandoned us. You can't be my son."

The young Iraqi begs, "Mom, you don't understand! Our team won the biggest game here in the U.S. Thousands of fans are screaming for me. The U.S. President is going to call me!"

"I don't care," his mother snaps. "Right now I can hear gunshots everywhere. Our block is like a ruin. Your brothers were beaten half to death last night, and your sister was nearly raped."

Then she says, "I can never forgive you for making us move to Detroit.