Ride jokes
True Story of Little Red Riding Hood.
The big bad wolf told Red Riding Hood to strip. He looked at her pussy and said, "Now I will fuck you!"
Red pulled out a shotgun from under her coat and said, "Oh no you're not. You're not, you're going to eat me just like it says in the book!"
Why can’t orphans ride bikes?
Because they don’t have parent supervision.
There was a cowboy riding in a desert when he saw a little girl up ahead. He heard her crying, so he went up to her and climbed down from his horse and asked her: "Hey, what's going on? Why do you cry? Where are your parents? What happened?"
The girl said in a crying, sad voice, "The Indians came, killed my father and my mother, and raped my sister."
The cowboy just laughed, unlocked his belt, and pulled his trousers down and said, "Guess it isn't your day, is it?"
What falls and never gets hurt? Rain ☔
I love riding my bike 🚲.
"Yankee Doodle went to town riding on a computer screen, and then they can see the government has to get Chili's."
I woke up to my daughter riding me in bed. I asked, "What are you doing?" She replied, "Making a Creampie."
Why couldn’t the midget ride the bus?
He can’t slam dunk his bus fare!
What's the difference between a midget and a tall person? Only one of them can ride the rides.
How do bees 🐝 get to school?
They ride the school buzz!
Your butt's so big you can slap it and ride the waves.
I sometimes want rampage, but what good would that do?
I look for a way out, but there's not even a light shining through.
The times where all is dark, are the times that I need a mark.
Though people say that nobody will care, the truth is: there's always one who's fair.
That person may not be the one you expect, but I am here with a passion to redirect.
Once there was a time where I tried to end it all, because I only looked on the dark side.
Truth was I wanted to be heard, to be respected, to let someone know.
But that was in the past and this isn't about my dark ride, it's time for others to know that only a few words, can extinguish a glow.
What can you not ride with two wheelchairs? A burger 🍔 one wheelchair.
What is a bus ride that is dumb? A boring one.
What does an imouto ride?
Onii-san.
Why did the orphan cross the ride?
I forgot.
What is the difference between a flat tire bicycle and a woman?
Answer: You need to pump the tire on the bicycle before you ride it, while a woman you need to ride her and pump.
Three women—a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead—are riding through the desert on a dune buggy. About two hours later, their vehicle dies with no gas, and they're forced to travel to their destination on foot, but they all agree to carry something with them.
The brunette brings canteens of water.
The redhead takes a large beach umbrella.
The blonde somehow rips off the car door.
The redhead asks her, "Why did you take the whole car door?"
To which the blonde replied, "So I can roll down the window in case it gets too hot."
Why did Helen Keller ride a broken roller coaster?
She didn't see anything wrong with it.
A lady from the city and her traveling companion were riding the train through Vermont when she noticed some cows. "What a cute bunch of cows!" she remarked.
"Not a bunch, a herd," her friend replied.
"Heard of what?"
"Herd of cows."
"Of course I've heard of cows."
"No, a cow herd."
"What do I care what a cow heard? I have no secrets to keep from a cow!"