I was riding my bike down the road!
When a car started coming, I started running.
It put me in a crash with my elbow through my ass! ;)
What's the hardest part of riding a scooter?
Telling your parents you are gay.
What does the cell ride to work?
A vesicle.
I saw your mother get into a white Ford Taurus on the corner of Milton and Halliburton, and you're still trying to tell me she ain't got no job cause she "can't get a ride to work?"
Viagra is a lot like amusement parks...
It's a one hour wait, for a two-minute ride.
Chuck Norris doesn't ride horses.
Horses ride him.
What do a fat chick and a moped have in common?
They’re both fun to ride until your friends find out.
Why did the chicken ride across town? Because he was being taken to Tyson.
A 90 year old man takes a Viagra.
Strips off naked, lies down in an alley way. Three chicks walk on by: a blond, a brunette, and a red head.
The red head said, "I'm not letting that go to waste," so she strips off and rides him. When she's finished,
The brunette then strips off naked and rides him. The blond's now worried because she just got her period. The red head sez, "He's dead. Don't let it go to waste," so she strips off naked and rides him. Then he wakes up. He then says, "Wow, two jump starts and a blood transfusion. I'm good to go!"
I was always told I’m too small to ride, but every girl I’ve been with rated me a 9.5.
What happened to the egg after it went on the rollercoaster?
It was scrambled.
Why couldn’t the bike stand up?—Because it was “two tired”!
The sad thing is when they ride the scooters in Wal-Mart... Really, you declining to walk is what got your fat ass in that scooter to begin with... And damned if they aren't buying diet soda... Please... cull this shit... We don't need them in society... KFC is not a disease.
Why can't Cleopatra ride a bicycle?
Because she's dead.
What's a turtle's favorite thrill ride?
Shell shock!
A boy walks in on his mother riding his father. "What are you doing?" the boy asks his mother. "I'm jumping on daddy to make him thin," said the mother. "Don't bother," said the boy, "when you go shopping, the lady next door comes and blows him up again."
The doctor told me I was so retarded, I was required to ride two wheelchairs.
Michael Jackson and Tonya Harding got together back in the day for a horse racing venture. Tonya says, "I'll handle the handicapping, you go ride the 3-year-olds."
There were these three men, their names were Shit, Shut up, and Manners. One day they were riding in their car and Shit fell out so Manners went out to pick shit up and shut up went to the police station. when he got there the police officer said "What's your name son?" and Shut up said "Shut up." the officer replies with "Ummm...excuse me?!" and shut up said "Shut up!" and the officer said "Boy, where are your manners?" and Shut up said "Round the corner picking up Shit!"
What did the skeleton say while riding his Harley Davidson motorcycle?
I’m bone to be wild!
