Ride jokes
A couple and their friends were riding their tricycle, and one wheel fell off. They discussed what to do, and finally the friend said, "Why don't you just use me?" The boyfriend said, "Why did I not think of using the third wheel?"
Wanna ride a reindeer for Christmas? *rubs my antlers on you*
It’s disappointing that Los Angeles doesn’t offer better transportation, especially since my neighbor offers free mustache rides every night.
I heard an Uber from your eyebrows to your hairline is like $40.
True Story of Little Red Riding Hood.
The big bad wolf told Red Riding Hood to strip. He looked at her pussy and said, "Now I will fuck you!"
Red pulled out a shotgun from under her coat and said, "Oh no you're not. You're not, you're going to eat me just like it says in the book!"
Why can’t orphans ride bikes?
Because they don’t have parent supervision.
There was a cowboy riding in a desert when he saw a little girl up ahead. He heard her crying, so he went up to her and climbed down from his horse and asked her: "Hey, what's going on? Why do you cry? Where are your parents? What happened?"
The girl said in a crying, sad voice, "The Indians came, killed my father and my mother, and raped my sister."
The cowboy just laughed, unlocked his belt, and pulled his trousers down and said, "Guess it isn't your day, is it?"
What vehicle does a frog 🐸 drive?
The Beetle!
What falls and never gets hurt? Rain ☔
I love riding my bike 🚲.
"Yankee Doodle went to town riding on a computer screen, and then they can see the government has to get Chili's."
I woke up to my daughter riding me in bed. I asked, "What are you doing?" She replied, "Making a Creampie."
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
He drove too far away from the power point/modem.
Why couldn’t the midget ride the bus?
He can’t slam dunk his bus fare!
A woman walks onto the bus with her child. The driver says, "That's the ugliest child I have ever seen!" The woman sits down and tells her neighbor. The neighbor replies, "Go say something back. Here, I'll hold your monkey for you!"
What's the difference between a midget and a tall person? Only one of them can ride the rides.
How do bees 🐝 get to school?
They ride the school buzz!
Your butt's so big you can slap it and ride the waves.
I sometimes want rampage, but what good would that do?
I look for a way out, but there's not even a light shining through.
The times where all is dark, are the times that I need a mark.
Though people say that nobody will care, the truth is: there's always one who's fair.
That person may not be the one you expect, but I am here with a passion to redirect.
Once there was a time where I tried to end it all, because I only looked on the dark side.
Truth was I wanted to be heard, to be respected, to let someone know.
But that was in the past and this isn't about my dark ride, it's time for others to know that only a few words, can extinguish a glow.
What can you not ride with two wheelchairs? A burger 🍔 one wheelchair.