Refund jokes

I liked my life when I first got it... Later they said no because I didn’t have the receipt.

Yo mama so dumb, she thought a quarterback was a refund.

What's the best thing about a dead hooker? Refunds.

I heard life was a gift. Well, I hope they kept the receipt, because I'd like a mother-fucking refund!

What's the similarity between my son and a rug from eBay? I asked for a refund.

If you hate what you hear from Nickelback, at least you can get your nickel back.

If you have to deal with the noise from Deftones... unfortunately, not only are you unable to obtain any refund, but you may have become permanently deaf.

A rich man paid for a trip to space, but he couldn't go because the rocket was damaged. He received a refund and an apology.

You know, eBay sucks. I was looking for a lighter, and it gave me 18,906 matches.

Money and my mom are kinda the same thing; they come and leave easily.

I won the lottery for a million dollars today, so I decided to donate a quarter of it to charity.

I now have $999,999.75.

I got them red Gucci bracelets.

My bank loves me. They told me my credit card balance is outstanding.