What did the priest say to the other in the orphanage?
"Let us prey together."
How can you tell the difference between a Christian priest from a zit, one waits until your twelve to come on your face.
what do you call a burning church?
Holy Smokes
Religion... That is all
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because it was a very large mammal, its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to Heaven, I will ask Jonah."
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to Hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him."
Whats the difference between NASA and religion
NASA takes you through space Religion takes you through two towers
I believe "Self-Babtism" is a nice way of saying "Failed Suicide Attempt"
What pants do you wear to church.. HOLE-Y ONESS
A nun walked into a bar with her clothes on inside out. The bartender asked her about it and she replied, "Its a bad habit"
Whats the difference between a jesus and the baby in my basement? Jesus died a virgin
God: “Stephen join us” *sees the staircase to heaven*. Stephen: “shit”
"Amen "Amen" "Amen"
Hail satan.
.............
Oh sorry I forgot which religion I was pretending to respect.
Three nuns are on their way up to heaven after having been involved in a terrible minibus crash on the Italian Alps that killed them and the driver (he went the other direction!) As they're approaching the Pearly Gates to be interview by St. Peter, they are requested by an attendant to form a single line and wait. Sister Agnes is first, Sister Bernadette behind her and Sister Carmel on the end. Finally, St. Peter approaches the nuns to determine their worthiness for entry to Heaven. He says to the first nun : "Sister Agnes, have you ever seen the penis of a man"? Sister Agnes bursts into tears and says : Yes, St. Peter, I have, but please don't let this prevent me from entering the Kingdom of Heaven". St. Peter says : "Never fear, my child. Say a thousand Hail Marys and then go over to that font of Holy Water and wash your eyes out, then you shall enter the Kingdom of Heaven". Sister Carmel sees what's going on and taps Sister Bernadette on the shoulder, somewhat urgently. "Pssst - hey Bernie"!, she says. Sister Bernadette asks : "What is it?" A little annoyed. Sister Carmel says : "Do you mind if we swap places"? Sister Bernadette replies : "What for"? Sister Carmel says : "Well, I wouldn't mind gargling before you stick your ass in there"!
God made Adam and Eve.
Satan made Adam and Steve.
Atheists don't solve exponential equations because they don't believe in higher powers.
What’s the similarities between an American teen and a old Muslim man? They both choose who they want.
Why are priests called father? because its too suspicious to call them daddy.
A priest and a rabbi run out of a burning church and the Priest says "what about the children" the rabbi says "fuck the children" and the Priest says "do you think we'll have time
What kind of containers does the Pope keep his vegetables in? Vat-I-Cans !!!
Why were Adam and Eve's sons so much alike? Because Cain was Abel minded!!
