Why did the child cross the road? To get to the church. Knock-Knock. Who's there? The Priest... Lets go to my office, because I'm totally not a pedophile.
Roses are red... Orphans are blue... I killed the priest so I could rape them too.
Imagine if you were an Arabic person shopping at Walmart with your son.
Now imagine he got lost and you had to start calling out his name.
...Now imagine his name is "Allahu Akbar."
I was talking to a close friend that was Islamic.
He said he was being shipped to an amazing training.
I asked, "Where are you going?"
He said, "Camp Bin Laden."
I asked, "What do they do there?"
He answered, "They got bomb training and hand to hand combat training. Plus they got arts and crafts."
I asked, "What do you mean by arts and crafts?"
He said, "See this towel on my head?" I nodded. "I made it out of boxer jokes."
What's the difference between baby Jesus and the baby I keep in my basement?
Baby Jesus died a virgin.
Yo mamma so ugly that even God said, "Be gone, DEMON!"
A preacher was selling a horse. A cowboy decided to buy the horse. The preacher told the cowboy to make the horse go, to say "Thank God" and to stop the horse, to say "Hallelujah". The cowboy then rode off into the sunset until he came upon a cliff, searching his memory he yelled "Hallelujah" and the horse stopped just before going off the cliff. Then the cowboy said "Thank God".
God
A Christian Missionary walks up to some people and says, "Come! Meet Jesus!"
One of the guys takes out a knife and says, "You first."
What's the difference between a priest and a rabbi? The rabbi cuts it off, and the priest sucks it off.
Why aren't there any closets in southern churches? Closets have coat hangers.
What's the difference between McDonald's and a priest?
Nothing... They both stick their meat in ten-year-old buns.
Why is a tree brown. If you are thinking about this you are rasice.
What did Adam say when he saw Eve?
Answer: "Woman!"
God sent gays to fix overpopulation. Until they ended same-sex marriage.
A man walks up to a priest. The man says, "I am Jesus Christ." The priest says, "No, you are not my son." The man says, "Follow me." The man walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "Jesus Christ, you're back!"
Jesus created the T-pose first.
What's black, white, and red all over?
A nun that fell down the stairs.
What's black, white, and laughing?
The nun that pushed her.
Crucifixion was the first T-pose.
They should add an eleventh commandment to the Bible:
Thou shalt not f... altar boys.
