My grandpa has a world record for holding his breath. He's been holding it for 6 years.
The first trains were often derailed. They had a bad track record.
Who were the fastest runners ever? Adam and Eve. They were first in the human race.
What do you need in order to crash a train?
A bad track record.
Derrick and Clive. They have a song about a Dad with Cancer and other extremely offensive subjects in a routine called "The non stop dancer". It is very funny but it is made even funnier by Dudley moors, drunken and stoned laughter through the song. One of the best routines ever. Look it up on YouTube. They recorded them in the studio but they are adlibbing and extremely drunk.
What’s 12 inches and is moist inside?
My record holding cucumbers, locally grown at my farm.
My cock was in the book of world records... The librarian told me to take it out
Sonic can run around the world in a second, i can do it in 0.5, ----- but chuck Norris has already done it before us.
My penis was in the Guinness Book of World Records. -- Then the librarian told me to take it out.
