Why is bacon called bacon and cookies called cookies if you cook bacon and bake cookies?
i was trying to make homemade baby powder until i realized it isn't made from babies , oops wrong ingredient ... smh
I was making a coffee for my boss and this was the supposed recipe:
1 egg 1 tomato diced bell peppers a bag of sugar sea salt coffee beans rusted nails
I got fired and spent the next 20 years in prison with a dude named Papa Bear
you telling me Julius Ceaser, who has been dead for well over 50 years, made this salad?
How to make a white ice cream red.. blend a baby into it
Why is Vegetable soup hard to cook! Because you can’t fit the Wheelchair in
If Hitler had a cooking channel: Step one... Turn on the gas.
i was going to make alligator last night but i noticed i only have a crockpot🤣
My sister said I was only aloud to grate cheese, so I said to her that I’d prove her wrong. The next day my mum asked me why my cheese was tan, and I said it was my own special recipe. My mum loved the cheese but she didn’t like it much after the funeral.
Want to know how you make any salad into a caesar salad? Stab it twenty-three times.
Three sons left home, went out into the world and each of them made a lot of money. During a reunion, they discussed the gifts they'd given to their elderly mum.
'I built a big house for our mum,' said the first.
'I sent her a Mercedes, with a chauffeur,' said the second.
And the third smiled and said, 'I think my gift was the best. You know how much mum enjoyed reading the Bible? And you know that her eyes aren't so good anymore? Well, I sent her a remarkable cockatoo that recites the entire Bible, both old and new testaments. It took a priest twelve years to teach him. That cockatoo is the only one in the world that can do it. All mum has to do is name the chapter and verse, and the cockatoo recites it.'
A few days later, mum sent out her thankyou letters. She wrote to the first son,
'The house you built is so enormous that I only live in one room. The trouble is, I have to clean the whole house.'
To the second son she said, 'I'm far too old to travel anymore. I stay at home most of the time, so I've hardly used the Mercedes. In any case, the driver is so rude.'
To the third son she wrote 'Dearest Freddie. You have the good sense to know what your mum likes. The chicken was delicious!'
This is a plane 2 for 1 combo to never exist.
But, it's like a plane pizza.
Nothing happens, but it terrorizes me.
what does having sex with a woman and cooking an egg in a skillet have in common? A. both end with a loud annoying sound and a gooey mess to clean the shit up.
What type of cookie has an orphan never had? Home made cookies ;)
Why does the pancake team in baseball always win? Because they have the best batter.
What's the difference between a southern zoo and northern zoo? A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage, along with a recipe.
Curry.
